survivor 20456th: highschool!
by lCe28
Summary: Four boys. Four girls. Konoha high school. 1 million dollars? Who will prevail? Who will be strong enough to outwit, outsmart, and outlast their nagging hormones? More importantly--who will fail... and end up having the time of their lives anyways?
1. The challenge!

  
SURVIVOR 20456TH: HIGHSCHOOL! 

**Chapter one: the challenge!**

**Summary: **Four boys. Four girls. Konoha high school. 1 million dollars. Yeah right. Who will survive each other? Can they last one another? Or will they… fall for each other instead? Parings: sasusaku (hell yeah!) naruhina shikaino nejiten.

"Hey! People! Wait for us!"

A group comprised of two teenagers looked behind them. A 17-year-old teen with spiky yellow hair was running up with an irritated teen with pale white eyes, and long hair in a ponytail. A handsome, but irritated raven-haired boy looked at him with angry onyx eyes. The boy beside him yawned and looked at the pair behind him.

"Hey Naruto." Shikamaru said lazily

"Dobe… loud as ever…" Sasuke said, shuffling his hands into his cargo pants

"You bet. You guys are so lucky you're not beside his room… I have to wear earmuffs all day…" Neji said, shaking his head.

"Aw, guys, you really love me, don't you?" Naruto said sarcastically, and giving his trademark grin.

"Hey, what are we gonna do, anyways?" Neji asked

"I don't know… set all the swamp frogs on the loose?" Sasuke said, running his hand through his hair.

"Nah… we did that last week." Shikamaru said lazily.

"Nope, those were the white rats." Naruto said, putting his hands behind his head.

"Oh… I forgot…"

"Geez, Shikamaru, for someone with an IQ of over 200, you really are stupid." Neji smirked.

"Whatever white eyes."

"Shut up dobes."

"Hey, cuz, don't compare me to your yellow haired idiot." Shikamaru said, giving Sasuke his cute but lazy smile. Sasuke gave in turn his trademark smirk. Neji smiled. Naruto started ranting about how Sasuke should treat him to ramen.

Meanwhile…

A shy-looking girl with bluish black hair smiled shyly at an energetic girl with brown hair tied like two buns on top of her head, waving at her. Later on, she arrived, and pulled out a silver camera from her messenger bag.

"Hinata, you promised I could take your picture today!" ten-ten said happily, waving the camera in front of her friend.

"O-okay, ten-ten-chan. I-I'll pose for you." Hinata said shyly, playing with the hem of her cute, pale lavender blouse. Ten-ten grinned sheepishly.

They were happily taking shots, or rather, ten-ten was happily taking shots while hinata was blushing in the background, when a certain girl stepped into view. Her long, pink hair was braided loosely on her back, with a light blue ribbon tying it at the end. Her baby-blue sleeveless blouse had the words 'Am I cute or what?' written boldly on it with creamy, white letters. Her baggy pants were denim, with a blue leather cord tied around her waist, kind of like a belt. She had a silver charm bracelet on her right wrist, and her right hand was holding a can of sparkle cola. It was blue.

"Oi, Sakura! Feeling a little _blue_ today?" ten-ten asked, grinning. Sakura snorted at the remark. Hinata shook her cute head and noted the can Sakura was holding.

"Sparkle cola." She said quietly. Then she closed her eyes and said, "Red eyes. Am I right, ten-ten chan?" she asked silenty.

"Yep. Red alright." Ten-ten said, putting her camera back in her bag. Sakura grunted.

"Where's the bastard? Who broke up?" ten-ten asked, sitting on the bench. Sakura smiled and took another long gulp of sparkle soda.

"Me." She said flatly.

"Why? Kenji seemed so nice." hinata asked curiously.

"Idiot. Saw him kissing another girl. When I asked him about it, said it was his _cousin_. Bastard." She added, then taking another long drought. Ten-ten smirked.

"Another cheerleader?"

"Uh-huh" Sakura said in a bored voice.

"Don't worry. The line is still long! Next date please!" a random voice shouted at them.

"Ino!" ten-ten said, grinning.

Yep. It was Ino. She was wearing a violet blouse with a denim skirt. Boys were looking at them once in a while. The fact that they were the cutest girls in Konoha high was proof enough.

She sat down beside ten-ten. Hinata was on the other bench on the other side of the picnic table. Sakura was sitting on top of the table. Their bags were on the other side of the table. Sakura reached into her small, white backpack and pulled out her laptop. Hinata took a bottle water out of her bag. Ten-ten took out her silver video cam and was recording the people playing volleyball. Suddenly…

"KYAAAAAAAAAA! Sasuke-KUN IS SOOOO CUUTTTEEE!" a girl fainted at the sight of Sasuke.

"Shikamaru! HE'S THE BEST! YOU KNOW, ALTHOUGH HE KEEPS ON SAYING ITS TROUBLESOME TO DATE ME, I KNOW HE WANTS TO, BUT HE'S JUST TOO SHY!" (a/n: o.Oa! x.X? sweat drops are you sure?)

"Naruto! HELLOOO! OH MY GOOD LORD! HE'S GRINNING! LOOK HERE, Naruto! LOOK HERE! GRIN AT MEEEEEEE!" a girl fainted.

"Nejii! KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" a girl passed out on coma… (A/n: idiot…)

On the other side of the school grounds, four girls were looking lazily at the sight of the four teens crowded, ehem… I mean **mobbed** by hysteric fan girls. Many were already fainting.

"Neji? Eiw! He's so weird! Who ever heard of _white eyes_? Ugh…" ten-ten twitched.

"Shikamaru? Hell is freezing… how can he be cute? Belch! Belch!" Ino said, making fake vomiting sounds.

"Sasuke? YEAH RIGHT! WHO WANTS A SADISTIC IDIOT ANYWAYS!" Sakura screamed at the top of her voice.

"Naruto-kun? Uhm…?" hinata paused. Ino smirked.

"Stop trying to find an insult, hinata. It'll break your heart. You might faint and enter a comatose." Ino smiled at the blushing hinata.

"I-it's not like that! I-I-I don't… uhm…"

"Yeahh… and pigs fly…" ten-ten said, rolling her eyes.

"W-well… he _is_ cute… and he's nice to me…"

"Yep. There's no denying that." Ten-ten said, eyeing Neji. Ino sighed and looked at Shikamaru lazily. Sakura saw the three daydreaming and spat out her sparkle cola.

"EEEIIIWWWWWWW! YOU GUYS! WHAT THE HELL? YOURE ALL DAYDREAMING ABOUT THOSE THREE! THE RAMEN IDIOT, THE GAY WITH HAIR AS LONG AS MINE, AND THE LAZY MORON! YEEEEEECHHH!" she said, falling off the table.

"WHAT! They're cute! _A bit_…" ten-ten said, replacing the batteries of her video cam. Ino shrugged.

"She's right." She said, shrugging again. Hinata blushed and nodded shyly. Sakura looked at her three friends. _How the hell can they fall for those guys? They're all… WEIRD!_ She looked bewilderedly at her best friends.

"HOW CAN YOU ALL BETRAY ME!" she said, the back of her hand on her forehead for dramatic effect. The three sweat dropped.

"Sigh… since you three are all hooked… I'll call for…Sasuke-KUUNNN!" she imitated the girly high-pitched screams of all his fan girls. Ino laughed out loud. Ten-ten fell off the bench. Hinata almost spat out her water.

"SASUKE-KUUUNNN! YOU ARE SOOOO HANDSOME! YOU LOOK LIKE SATAN HIMSELF!" Sakura said, and laughing out openly.

"SHIKAMARU! YOU HOT LAZY BASTARD! YOU'RE SOO LAZY, YOU DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO TAKE A BATH!" Ino said, laughing and falling off the bench.

"NEJI! YOU SADISTIC MORON! YOU ARE SATAN'S NO.1 HELPER!" ten-ten said, rolling on the grass.

"oh Naruto, oh Naruto! There art thou, Naruto! Deny thy father and refuse thy name, and I shall no longer be a Hyuuga!" hinata said, standing on top of the table, and throwing her hands up in the air for effect.

"Nice, Hinata. I didn't think you were the acting type." Said a male voice. Hinata looked around and hiccoughed. Standing behind her was _Naruto._

"Ten-ten, is rolling on the grass a traditional ritual for idiots like you?" Neji said, smirking.

"This is so troublesome…" Shikamaru said, looking at Ino, and putting his hands in his pockets.

"Pft." Sasuke said, looking at Sakura. Sakura stood up. She looked straight into his onyx eyes. Her jade-green eyes bore into his. A staring contest issued. Sasuke smirked.

"Challenging me, Sakura?" he smirked.

"You bet, _Uchiha_" she whispered maliciously.

hey people. r and r plz! no flames, cuz im new. suggestions, okay? thanx!


	2. Blushing!

**Disclaimer: **uh… I kinda forgot this… (Did anyone notice?) Hehehe… anyways, uhm, yeah! I don't own Naruto (duh! I'm thirteen, and I own it… am I some kind of special rich kid? Hell no!)

**Author's note:**

Hellooo, avid readers! Sorry for the long wait, it was our periodical test, and so, had to study! Anyways, thanks very much for all the reviews, I… I feel so… loved! (cries anime style, and fills whole room with tears. Shark fins are seen… X,x!) sniff! Sniff! Anyways, I have a few stuff to point out. ("Bad shark! go away! Didn't I tell you not to disturb mommy when she's in front of her computer! (punch in shark's nose. Shark whines doggie style and swims away) uh… ehem…

Yes, I have derived this fanfic from the story "Fighting hearts". Gomen to the author out there, I had no way to start the first chappie, so I kind of derived it from yours… (Gomen, again, to the author… TT). although! Please take note! This fanfic was inspired by yes, "Fighting hearts" and the anime "Alien 9" there will be some very, very, _very_, weird twists… (laughs evil laugh, then chokes. "water!" sharks point to water inside the bedroom. "I said water, not tears!"). although this is an au story, the people here, (yes, everyone here, even the four boys' crazed fangirls) are ninjas. (X,x… weird, ne?) I will need the jutsus for a shocking side of this story… (evil laugh again. Sharks sweatdrop…) further will be explained in the next chappies, but not this one, okay? I'll try to update as often as possible, but during the time from now, today, up to April 16, there will be very few chances of updating, since we still have school… (inner self: what kind of fucking school do we have? Damnit!)

Anyways, hey! Me talking all day won't do anything (familiar? Coughkakashicough) so, without further- "…did someone urinate here? The tears are warm! And my sharks are dying one by one! Oh no! flipper! Hold on, flippy, mommy's gonna order distilled water! Oi, baka! Stop urinating! Eiw!" enjoy! **STOP URINATING, DAMNIT! AKAMARU! STOP! KIBA! GET YOUR FREAKIN' URINATING DOG OUTTA MY ROOM, OR I SHALL CUT ON YOUR DOG TREATS! Kiba: FUCK! YOU WOULDN'T DARE! Me: SO GOD WILL HELP ME, I WILL! Kiba: (mumbling) **here Akamaru… **me: someone clean this stinking room! And please place my sharks in another clean tank. Thanks…**

**CHAPTER II: blushing!**

Sakura stared menacingly at those onyx eyes she hated like hell. _What the hells are they so interested about this idiot anyways? He's got pale skin, dark eyes, dark hair, dark attitude, dark mind, everything! Why is he so damn popular anyways? Heck, Kenji is cuter… but in the range of idiocy, they're both 99.9 morons…_ Sakura thought, smirking inwardly. Sasuke smirked himself. They've been staring for about 30 minutes already. They weren't bored, a few, ne, a billion of people (consisting mainly of fangirls and guys) were shouting in the background, debating whether Sakura would lose or win.

"She's gonna lose! Nobody can beat Sasuke-kun!" a fat girl said.

"Shut up, Tanya, she's gonna kick his stinking ass! Right, Sakura!" a blond boy said.

"Shut your face, Philip, Sakura's goin' down! Yeah! Go Sasuke-kun!" a girl with black-layered hair shouted, screaming the last part in a high-pitched voice.

"You shut up, Gerty! In comparison of looks, between you and Sakura, YOU WON'T STAND A CHANCE! NOT BY A FUCKING LONGSHOT! BWAHAHAHAHA-OUCH!" Philip retorted. He couldn't continue, a punch landed straight on his face.

Soon enough, swear words were flying like rainbows on the sky, and the girls were scratching the boys, who were either running for their dear lives or shouting more swear words.

"Hahahahaha! Bitch!"

"Say that again, bastard!"

"Maniac! Fat-ass!"

"Dumb-ass!"

"Layer haired idiotic bitch!"

"Fucking bastard with cheese-hair!"

And so on and so forth. Sasuke and Sakura were still staring like hell, like their lives depended on it. Everything was going on fine; in fact the two were enjoying the staring contest. But then…

"**HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY GIRLFRIEND!**" someone shouted. Next thing Sasuke and Sakura knew, a fist went flying straight for Sasuke, and hitting him in surprise. Blood trickled down his mouth. He looked up. A brown-haired guy was looking hard at Sasuke. Sakura was looking at the guy, jaw dropped open.

"Kenji! What the hell are you doing!" Sakura asked incredulously. Kenji smiled grimly at Sakura and knelt down.

"I'm sorry, that was really my cousin, Sakura I want you back… she was really my cousin!" he said, smiling up at her.

"Awww, so romantic!" Gerty said, smiling at the scene. Philip snorted.

"THAT'S romantic? It's pukey!" he said, rolling his eyes. Gerty shot dagger looks at him.

"Cousin? Okay. Nice. So, people, **COUSINS FRENCH-KISS NOW, DO THEY!**" Sakura asked the crowd angrily. A few girls twitched.

"See? I told you it was pukey… imagine… kissing cousins… eiw…" Philip snorted. Gerty had fainted.

"It was a play!" Kenji said defensively. Sakura narrowed her eyes.

"**A PLAY IN THE DARK, IN THE BASEMENT, WITHOUT ANYBODY ELSE, WHERE YOU WERE STRIPPING HER CLOTHES. RIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHTTTTTTT. NICE!**" Sakura said angrily through gritted teeth. Her eyebrow twitched. _I can't believe how desperate this idiot is…_ she thought angrily.

"It… it was a… a… PLEASE, SAKURA! I WANT YOU BACK!" he hugged Sakura's legs. (A/N: Uh-oh… dead man… let us pray for him…NOT! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-choke! Water! Water!) A vein twitched in Sakura's temple. She gripped the can of soda on the table, and, yeah, you guessed it. She poured the contents on Kenji's head. (A/N: you go girl!) then, she crumpled the can, and slapped his face with it.

"**PERVERT! STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!**" she punched him and off he flew… (A/N: buh-bye!) Sakura dusted her hands calmly as it nothing happened. Sasuke wiped the trickle of dry blood from the corner of his mouth. Girls were rushing towards her, holding band-aids, alcohol, cotton buds and such. Some even went into comatose. Others fainted. Others nearly went nuts. Sakura chuckled, and Sasuke smirked.

"You're pretty easy to hit, Uchiha." She said, smirking.

"Let's say I was lost in your eyes." Sasuke replied, then smirked at the pink tinge slowly creeping up Sakura's cheeks. Sakura narrowed her eyes at him, with a smirk on her face.

"Smooth, Uchiha. Very smooth. But no thanks, I'm not an idiot fangirl." She turned around. "Let's go, guys. We have biology." She said, picking up her blue bag. She looked back at Sasuke who was smirking. He raised an eyebrow, still smirking.

"This is not yet over, Uchiha." Sakura called. Sasuke smirked more widely as Sakura walked away.

"You bet it isn't, Sakura."

The bell rang three times signaling the start of lunch. Sakura wrote the last words on the blackboard on to her notebook as her other classmates filed out.

"See you guys at the table." She said to her friends.

"Yeah, and today's Wednesday, right?" Ino asked. Sakura nodded. "Then its pizza and lasagna!" Ino licked her lips. Ten-ten grinned. Hinata smiled happily.

"Don't forget, they've got ice cream for dessert!" she said, smiling. Ino moaned.

"C'mon! let's leave Sakura here, if we wait, she'll take the good stuff!" Ino said, smirking, and pushing the other two out of the door. Sakura just laughed openly. _She really is a pig…_ she thought, chuckling to herself. She put a strand of pink hair behind her ear. And looked up. Someone was erasing the blackboard. Someone irritatingly familiar.

"Uchiha, what the hell are you doing?" she asked testily, twirling her pen on her right hand. Sasuke looked innocently at her.

"Erasing the blackboard. What else?" he said, smirking.

"People are still copying that, you know. Or maybe your puny brain can't see that fact." She said, crossing her arms. Sasuke just smirked, and erased the part Sakura was copying. Sakura smiled. She wrote the whole sentence on her notebook, walked towards the blackboard, and showed it to Sasuke. Sasuke's eyes went wide open as he realized that the sentence she wrote was the one he erased. Sakura smirked.

"Photographic memory. I just love it." She said, patting his pale cheek. Sasuke felt a strange warmth creeping up his cheeks. He put a hand to Sakura's waist and pulled her closer.

"You better stop that…" he whispered in her ear. Sakura gulped. She then messed up his hair.

"Agh! Don't do that!" he said, letting her go, and fixing his hair. Sakura smirked.

"Ahh… I love hurting your pride and ego." She said, turning around, and leaving the room. Sasuke slapped himself.

"What the hell did I just do?" he whispered to himself, banging his head on the blackboard.

Sakura rushed out of the classroom, then breathed in. She was still in a state of shock. She still can't believe that Sasuke just did that. She walked calmly towards the fountain outside. Her friends were, again, by the same table that morning. When she appeared, Ino was happily sipping her coke. She smiled.

"What, no more pizza?" Ino asked. Sakura raised an eyebrow. Then it hit her, when the grumbling started in her stomach. _Oh shit, I forgot to get lunch!_ She threw her bag on the seat, where Hinata unconcernedly caught it and placed it neatly beside hers. Sakura ran as fast as she can to the cafeteria. When she got there, there was still a lot of food. _Pizza, please, please, please… yes! _She took a large slice of Hawaiian pizza and put it on her plate. _Carbonara? Nah… too creamy… spaghetti? Nope… I'm not a kid… lasagna? Nah… too cheesy… aha! Pesto! Just perfect!_ She took a dump of it and put it on her plate. She took a bunch of grapes, a can of soda, and took her tray outside. She could still remember that thing with Sasuke. _Ugh! Why did he do that?_ She walked towards their table, with that memory still etched in her head. _Sometimes I hate having this photographic memory of mine…_ she said, inwardly hitting her head. She sat down, and took a huge, as in HUGE bite of pizza. Ino gaped at her. Ten-ten's eyes were wide open. Hinata smiled.

"Sakura… why are you red? Are you sick?" Hinata silently asked, smiling mischievously.

"WHAT! I'M RED!" Sakura asked, spluttering her pizza. She ran off to the girls bathroom, and faced the mirror. Sure enough, she was blushing.

Well? Whaddaya think! R and r, please! And id lyk to thank the ff pipolz:

KRISTA

ayuka-chan

hikaru0918s

sakura1025

Gothbrat

Miszy-Anne

Bevy-chan

harukakanata

Lady Snow Blood

AnimeSenko

babykitty2070

Millie-chan

Sakura

WWWJD309

benjem

animEvivvErz

lysapot24

DemonCloudStrife

sacred-aliance

WaFFleS

Pandora the Vampire

FireDragonBL

candy44

Sparkling-Ruby Gem

moonlightpath

thanx guys!


	3. Race to the skirt!

**Disclaimer: **"I hate having to explain the same thing over again" familiar? (Coughshinocough)

**Author's note:**

Hellooo, avid readers! Long time no read! (Nyahahaha-choke!) Thanks for all the luuuuvvvlyyyy reviews; it was so… so… TOUCHING! (Cries anime style… again…) anyways, yeah, a note to all the peoples there who like dramatic sasusaku, but not au with a little crossings, PLEASE READ MY OTHER FANFIC, "why do I dream" okay? Pls read and review that chappie, cuz I need suggestions, okay? Thanks!

**Chapter 3: race to the skirt**

Ino looked at her watch. Sakura had been in the 'little girls room' for about 30 minutes already. Ten-ten just recorded the people playing soccer in the background. Hinata was smiling "A la Mona Lisa" (meaning she knew something she thought others didn't) and continued to gaze calmly at the direction Sakura left.

"…Three …two … one…" Hinata muttered silently.

"Hey guys, sorry to keep you waiting! Hehehe…" Sakura suddenly said, appearing in the gateway to the tables outside. She sat down beside Hinata. Ino crossed her arms across her chest and looked sulkily at Sakura.

"What kept you?" she said, pouting, making Sakura nearly spit out her cola. "Do you realize we are 15 minutes behind our shopping schedule? There's this new skirt at the mall! I have to get it before Gerty does…" Sakura blushed slightly at the mention of what kept her, but she recomposed herself quickly… before Hinata noticed.

"You're out of luck, Ino. Gerty's wearing it right now…" Sakura said, munching on her pizza. Ino looked around. Yes, Sakura was right, Gerty _was_ wearing the skirt. A smile was plastered on Ino's lips.

"She did get that skirt… but she didn't get the lavender one… which is the last one there… and fits me perfectly…" she drooled as she daydreamed about it. Then, when Sakura finished the last bite of pizza, Ino immediately pulled Sakura, who pulled Hinata, Ten-ten. They ran out of the school. As soon as they were outside the gates, they ran, ninja style, as in jumping on top of houses, buildings, and whatever. They ran… and behind Ino was… Gerty. And her three faithful dogs- I mean companions.

"You're not getting that lavender skirt, Yamanaka Ino!" Gerty said, racing after her.

"Oh yes I am, and I will." She said, smirking. "Ten-ten! Now!" Ino shouted. Ten-ten threw a kunai, which cut a rope, which let go of a million senbon needles. One of Gerty's dogs- I mean companions pushed her, and she ended up fainting… all the needles hit acupuncture points. Gerty and Ino raced on. While Ten-ten and the dog- I mean companion fought.

"Hinata!" Ino shouted. Hinata did a few hand seals for her Jyuuken (A/N: uh… too much, right? WHO CARES! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! I DON'T CAREEEE! WAHA!) But the dog- err, companion pushed Gerty, again, and she ended up being hit by Hinata on the chakra points. (A/N: baka…) The two raced on, Ino and Gerty on the lead. The mall was just up ahead.

"Sakura!" Ino called.

"On it!" she said. She punched the dog- I mean Gerty's companion straight in the face. (A/N: hell yeah!) Then she raced after Gerty, and hit a place near Gerty's neck with such force that she fell. _Perfect aim, Sakura!_ Ino thought. Gerty wanted to move her legs, but her shoulders moved instead. She moved her arms, but her knees moved.

"What the hell did you do to me, Haruno!" she shouted at Sakura. Sakura merely smiled.

"I disabled your nervous system. Isn't it that obvious?" she said, putting her arms on the waist. "Someone like you won't be able to figure that out, you're too shallow-headed…" she smiled. Gerty gave out an inhumane growl. Sakura grinned.

"Catch you later, Imukashi Gertrude." She said, laughing and racing after Ino. She was about to catch to Ino, but Gerty was riding on a giant bird.

"HWAHAHAHAHA! MY PET! ISNT SHE CUTE, Haruno!" Gerty said, flying past them. The bird flew past with such force that it whipped Sakura around. She balanced herself on a tree. She smirked.

"DO YOU KNOW I EAT FRIED CHICKEN, IMUKASHI!" she shouted. She did a few hand seals. "GRAND PETAL FIRE WHIP!" (a/n: yeah, I know its new, and the name's pretty weird, but, hell, this is my fanfic! Hahahahaha!) The fire whip slashed on the bird, burning it, ironically, into a perfect golden brown. (A/N: anyone hungry? ) Gerty and Ino were neck on neck. They dashed into the mall. Past the food shops, the accessory shops, and through the dress shop. But Ino was slick. She tripped Gerty. (A/n: old school… ) but Gerty pulled on Ino's leg, making her fall. Ino then pulled on Gerty's skirt, and Gerty grabbed Ino's boot. The saleslady sweatdropped. They both ran to the counter, but Ino slapped tape on Gerty's mouth. She shouted.

"I WANT THE LAVENDER SKIRT PLEASE!" Ino said loudly. The salesclerk smiled.

"Okay. Here you go." She said, giving Ino the lavender skirt. Ino slapped 100 yen on the clerk table (A/N: I don't know how much clothes cost… so please just bear with me) she took the skirt.

"YES! I WIN, IMUKASHI!" Ino shouted at her, who was still tugging at the tape. Ino smirked. "You won't be able to remove that, it's controlled by my chakra. Sakura taught me how." She smirked again, and looked at the doorway. Sakura just went in, holding a giant roasted bird. She laughed.

"Anyone for chicken?" she said, laughing.

"Chinee! My bird! Noooo!" Gerty said. (Ino had removed the tape)

The four girls raced back to the classroom. They were doomed. Ino's race for the skirt had just cost them a workload of detention… if they weren't in time. They ran madly through the halls. And was soon joined by the four chick- catchers (Sasuke, Naruto, Neji and Shikamaru). With their fan clubs at the back.

"Hello… girls… I… see… that… its… not… always… us… that… are… late… for… class… huh?…" Sasuke panted at them. Sakura's eyes narrowed at Sasuke and she smirked.

"Shut… up… Uchiha… at… least… we're… not… being… chased… by… crazed… fan… girls…" she panted back. Sasuke was about to answer back, but Neji and Ten-ten cut them both at the same time.

"SHUT… IT… YOU… TWO! WE'RE… ALREADY… FUCKING… LATE!… SHUT… UP… AND… RUN!" they said loudly, sprinting ahead of them followed by Hinata and Naruto, then Ino and shikamaru. Sakura and Sasuke followed them. They opened the classroom door and crashed inside, falling on top of each other. Here's how it goes: Neji is lying on the floor, his back facing the floor, Ten-ten is on top of his chest, Naruto is sprawled face-first into the floor, Hinata is sitting on Naruto's back, Shikamaru trips and falls on the floor, and Ino's chest is in his face (A/n: hell yeah!) Sakura was about to fall, but Sasuke pulled her, but… well… they fell anyway, cause Ino pulled Sakura. (A/N+ that's must hurt…). Ms. Kurenai sighed and walked over to them. Before the chick-catchers' fan girls entered the classroom, Ms. Kurenai had shut the door, and locked it. She looked at the eight teen-agers sprawled on the floor. 4 were blushing (Naruto, Hinata, Neji, Ten-ten) two were fuming at each other (Sasuke and Sakura) one was burning with anger (Ino) and one had a red hand print on his face (Shikamaru).

"Don't tell me you've been chased by fan girls again, boys." She said, crossing her arms against her chest. The four boys grunted.

"We haven't been chased by fan girls, sensei…" they chanted monotonously back at her. The four girls snorted at them. Kurenai narrowed her red eyes at the four.

"Were you four included with the girls chasing them?" she asked. An explosion blew in the room.

"WHAT? HELL NO! WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK OF US!" Sakura, Ino and Ten-ten shouted. Hinata hiccupped. Kurenai's eyes twitched.

"Sensei…" Hinata added at the end. Kurenai's eyes relaxed as she looked at the timid Hinata, and the 'blushing-from-embarrassment' Sakura, Ino and Ten-ten. It was now the four boys' turn to snort back at them. Kurenai smiled mischievously.

"We were just talking about the attacking monsters in the school and how to stop them, when you eight came… err… crashed in…" the rest of the class chuckled. The eight teen-agers stood up and dusted themselves. "We found the perfect solution!" she pointed to eight monster-like helmets on top of her table. One was blue, another was cherryblossom pink, one was orange, the other was lavender, the other was yellow, the next to it was black, the next to it was brown, and the last in line was gray. The eight students looked at it. Sakura looked at the monster-helmets, looked at Ms. Kurenai, then at her and the chick-catchers. It clicked. She nearly fainted with what she had realized. Kurenai smirked. Sakura screamed.

"NOOO! PLEASE, Kurenai-SENSEI! DON'T! I BEG YOU! I'LL DO A HUNDRED DETENTIONS FOR YOU, NO, ME AND MY FRIENDS WILL DO A HUNDRED DETENTIONS FOR YOU, JUST DOOONNNN'TTT! PLEASE! I PROMISE WE'LL BE ON TIME NEXT TIME! IT WAS… UH… I ATE LATE, AND WELL, I HAD TO GET SOMETHING BACK AT OUR HOUSE, THEY ACCOMPANIED ME… AND… AND… PLEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Sakura was frantically on the verge of tears. Kurenai smirked. Shikamaru understood. He glared at Kurenai.

"YOU… Won't… DAREEEEEEEEE!" he shouted at her. Kurenai just smiled.

"Aw, why waste a hundred detentions when you could just get this one?" Kurenai said, smirking. It dawned on the other six. Eight monsters. There were eight of them. One for each. The protectors…

It was them.

So, that's it! Oh yeah. Don't forget to read and review my other chappie, why do I dream, okay? It's a bit funny, but it's drama. thanks. Till the next update! Ciao!


	4. The shift, and gym practice!

Disclaimer: "I despise having to repeat the same thing over again" –Shino

**Author's note:**

**Hello avid readers! Bwahahaha! Thanks very much for all the reviews! All 60+ of them! Anyways, I'd like to explain everything here, but… well… I have other evil plots on the story. Please also read my other fanfic, 'why do I dream?' cuz it's a pretty good… it's drama, to be precise. The pairings are difficult to read, and I'm going to give a quiz… wahaha! But not too soon, okay? Maybe in the next dozen chapters or something… anyways, here's the rest! Enjoy please, and can anyone tell me how you made the dividing lines for each POV of the character? I can't do it; it keeps on disappearing… help! Answer in a review, okay? Thanks! Anyways, here it is! Enjoooyyyy!**

**CHAPTER IV: THE SHIFT, AND GYM PRACTICE!**

* * *

Sakura couldn't believe it. The eight of them were assigned to this crappy shit. She was in a very, very, VERY as in very with capital letters, pissed off because of the following reasons: 

She never got the chance to beat Sasuke's ass in that staring contest earlier.

Her perverted ex-boyfriend just hugged her in the legs.

She was caught blushing because of a very UNFORTUNATE and WEIRD, not to mention GROSS AND JUST PLAIN WRONG, situation with Sasuke.

She was dragged by Ino to the mall on a full stomach; she thought she was about to barf when she did the fire jutsu…

She had to burn some giant chicken and persuade everyone in the mall to eat it

She had to run, hyper speed, back to school, where…

… She caught up with Sasuke (A/N: Sakura's eyebrows twitch in agony here…)

She was assigned to this crappy shit (as she calls it), which Ms. Kurenai still hadn't explained…

And last but not least, this irritating problem causes things to worsen for adolescent girls everywhere, every month.

It was her period.

Just that simple.

But very irritating, ne?

She glared as Kurenai explained this 'crappy shit' that they were to do, while the class snickered behind them. A vein started popping on Sakura's forehead. _Okay… remain calm, Sakura. Do not hurt them. Sure, they are very irritating, and you want them to be pounded into mince as soon as possible, they are a big pain, and it's your period, but you must remain calm._ She thought to herself, tightening her fist._ But they help you! Uh… sometimes… once in a blue moon… okay, you have a good reason to pound them. Go Sakura!_ She grinned evilly as she clenched her fist tightly. But Ms. Kurenai had just started explaining.

"So. Wondering what you guys are going to do?" she asked them, smirking.

"Enlighten us, oh great sensei…" Sakura said monotonously. Kurenai smirked. She pointed to the blackboard, where there were pictures of aliens. One was slimy with 2 big heads. One had 5 eyes. One was really cute; in fact, it resembled a Japanese poodle more than anything else.

"Aliens that were invented in the biology lab had gone loose and multiplied… like rabbits." She added, looking at her students' reactions, especially the girl ones. Hinata nearly fainted. Ino looked like she wanted to barf. Ten-ten was holding a scream. But Sakura… she was another thing. You could operate someone in the heart, while she looked on, calmly eating. She wouldn't give shit. That's why she, Kurenai (AKA goddess of pain, as the students dubbed her) actually assigned her to this thing. Late or not.

"It's up to all eight of you to re-capture them… and their offspring. You can kill another, if you have its breed. But don't kill unless you have that aliens' breed, clear?" she asked. The eight merely nodded. Neji spoke up.

"When are we doing this… madne- uh, assignment?" he asked, his eyebrow twitching horribly. _I'm going to capture a freakin' alien… that's just plain shit… this is gonna tarnish my reputation… I'm gonna kill those fangirls one day…_

"Starting tomorrow. Here are your timetables for capturing." She handed them a piece of blank paper each. The eight looked calmly at it first, and then did a double take. Their eyes went O.o, their mouth dropped open, and hit the floor. They all glared at Kurenai (A/N: Exemption of Hinata… you wouldn't REALLY picture Hinata like that, would you? But the eye thing… yeah, she wasn't exempted), each with a different version of glares.

"I'M PAIRED WITH WHO?" the seven of them shouted angrily at her. Again, Hinata added the meek 'sensei' to show respect. Kurenai simply smiled and closed her eyes. The glares went on harder. Neji gave his 'I-am-a-Hyuga-and-I-shall-kill-you-with-my-Jyuuken-style' glare. Sasuke gave her an 'Uchiha-super-cold-not-to-mention-kill-you-in-one-jutsu' glare. Shikamaru gave her a 'this-shit-is-very-freaking-troublesome-and-is-getting-in-my-cloud-staring-time' glare. Naruto gave her a 'I'll-push-my-rasengan-technique-in-your-mouth-unless-you-cancel-this-shit' glare. Sakura was giving her a 'It's-my-fucking-period-don't-piss-me-off-with-more-of-this-fucking-shit-or-I'll-pound-you-to-mince-using-my-Tsunade-strength-and-feed-you-to-kiba's-dogs-and-feed-the-rest-of-your-class-next' glare. Ino was giving her an 'if-this-ruins-my-beauty-I'll-kill-you' glare. Ten-ten was giving her the 'I'll-shower-you-with-weapons-using-my-twin-dragons-technique' glare. Hinata was staring at the seven pissed off teenagers. She looked down at her paper. Then she squeaked and passed out, blushing.

"Hinata? Hinata-chan?" Sakura asked, looking down at an unconscious Hinata, whose eyes were O.o and mouth was bubbling. The paper read:

**Team A- Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura**

**Team B- Uzumaki Naruto, Hyuga Hinata**

**Team C- Nara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino**

**Team D- Hyuga Neji, Kamiyaka Ten-ten **(A/N: okay… made up Ten-ten's last name… who wouldn't!)

**Schedule:**

**Mornings**

**Monday- Team D**

**Tuesday- Team C**

**Wednesday- Team B**

**Thursday- Team A**

**Friday- boys only (all four)**

**Afternoons**

**Monday- Team A**

**Tuesday- Team B**

**Wednesday-Team C**

**Thursday- Team D**

**Friday- girls only (all four)**

And here was the irritating part. At the end of the paper was a very, very, **_very_** irritating message:

**Thank you for participating on this humble assignment.**

_Thank you?_ Sakura thought angrily, while Kurenai smiled mischievously at them. _Thank you! Is this your idea of a joke! I certainly hope NOT! If it is, it's the most irritating and stupid joke ever! Be grateful I have my stress ball _(A/N: ya know? That rubber ball thingy you squeeze to put your irritation on? That's it.)_ in my bag…_

"Okay, class! Now, off to your seats…" Kurenai said, with a sweatdrop on her head. _Oh thank you Kami-sama… they didn't kill me… thank you… THANK YOU…_

"**THANK YOU!**" she said out loud, startling a few, timid students up front. They all sweatdropped. Except for eight people at the back.

The students at the back were currently whispering silent prayers to themselves. The dark aura surrounding the eight students near them were deadly. There were blue fireballs surrounding each student. Plus, to add that, there were fallen mushrooms at the background. All were in a bad mood, and Hinata was still sporting a bubbling mouth.

"I am so in the mood to kill right now…" Sasuke said irritably, a vein pumping in her temple. Hinata could only nod. _I-I'm w-with n-Naruto-kun…_ she thought, her mouth still bubbling, and her eyes still O.o. Neji kept glaring at everyone who looks at her. Especially Kurenai.

"I'll kill her someday… she's gonna die…" he thought. Meanwhile, Ten-ten was thinking of ways to kill Kurenai.

"How about I drown her?" she thought, an evil grin plastered on her face, giving her an impression of a mad woman. "Nah… she's a good swimmer… how about poison? Nope… she'll detect it… maybe I can have her thrown in a pit of piranhas? Yeah… nope… maybe I can beat her up, Tsunade style! Yeah! And I'll fry her brain and internal organs then feed them to Kiba's family's dogs! Kiba'd like that… especially since Akamaru doesn't get enough nutrition…" Ino snickered. Sakura was forcing herself to stay calm.

"Think happy thoughts… think happy thoughts… think happy thoughts… that's it, Haruno… think more happy thoughts… like killing your sensei for example…" she mumbled, her eyebrow twitching angrily.

"…okay class," Kurenai said. "Let's all head to the gym for a nice exercise." She said. "Change into your P.E. attires, then go to the gym. We're gonna practice weapon throwing…" _oh shit…_ Kurenai thought, as she looked at the seven of her students. They all had evil grins plastered on their faces. With only one thought.

_Hell yeah… it's payback time…_

* * *

The four girls headed for the locker rooms near the gym. Hinata was cleared of bubbling froth from her mouth. Sakura was running her hand through her hair in frustration, the stress ball popped when she started squeezing it too much. Ten-ten had that killer look in her eyes… their classmates were quivering… avoiding making eye contact with her… they all knew what she could do with the simplest things… like a pencil and some string. Ino tried to shrug it away. But the fact that she might end up doing all the work… 

"AAARRRGGGHHHH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Ino shouted, as she threw her blouse inside her locker (they were changing into their P.E. uniforms) in frustration. "OF ALL THE PEOPLE I GET PAIRED UP WITH! IT'S THAT LAZY BASTARD! WHO WANTS TO BET THAT I'M GONNA BE THE ONE DOING ALL THE DIRTY THINGS!" she said, as she threw her skirt inside as well. Hinata pulled up their blue P.E. short shorts quietly.

"Ino-san, please calm down…" she said quietly, handing Ino a towel. "Scream there, if you want to…" no sooner had Hinata said it did Ino grab it and screamed a muffled scream. "DAMN YOU SHIKAMARU!" she said, squeezing the towel.

"THIS IS SHIIIITTT!" Sakura said, as she pulled on her sleeve-less P.E. blouse. She tied her hair in a braid, and put on her sneakers. Ten-ten was happily sharpening her kunai with that murderous look in her eyes.

"All right, girls," she said, turning around, twirling a kunai. Sakura pulled out two needles and twirled them as well on one hand. Ino looked up. So did Hinata. A smirk crossed Sakura and Ten-ten's faces.

"Let's get wild…"

* * *

**ALRIGHT! What do you think? I know, its not as funny, but I'm running out of ideas. But trust me, there's gonna be a lot of funny stuff here, especially at the start of their shift thing. Hehehe… at the start of their shift, there'll be some cute nejiten… watch out…**

**Thanks! Also, the line thingy I mentioned earlier on the earlier author's note, please help me! Thanks again! **

**P.S. sorry for having it to be so short...**

**hikari-chan-sasusakukawaii **


	5. Not shinokun!

  
Disclaimer: "I despise having to repeat the same thing over again" –Shino 

**Author's note:**

**Hellooo avid readers! Hehehe… did anyone notice that the chapter numbering in my fanfic went wrong? Hehehehe… I put chapter 3, when it was actually chapter 4! Hehehehe… lolz… anyways, check out the newest chappie you've bin waiting for! Wahahahaaaaa! My evil work has been completed! Wahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (huff, huff, huff, pant, pant, pant…) uh where was I? Oh yeah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (cough, cough) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (Sasuke throws a keyboard at me…) BONK!**

**Sasuke: shut up and continue on with the story, jerk!**

**Me: you shut up! You just want me to write a kissing scene between you and Sakura!**

**Sasuke: (blushing) take your time…**

**Me: mwahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (choke!) water! Water!**

**Read on!**

**

* * *

**

**CHAPTER V: NOT SHINO-KUN! (familiar? CoughsixthmangainNarutocough )**

The four girls went out of their locker rooms. As soon as they were out, they were the main stars for all the guys. Yeah, even the four chick-catchers.

Naruto let out a soft wolf whistle. "Oh yeah! Check them out! I never thought Hinata had those cur- OW!" Neji had just hit him on the head. A vein was popping happily in his temple like a frog in the water, out of irritation.

"Don't you dare, Naruto… if you hit on her, I'LL HIT YOU RIGHT ON THE HEAD…" he said, bad aura coming from him again. Suddenly, Naruto shrunk to a chibi Naruto (A/N: awww… how cute!… (starts squishing chibi Naruto plushie non-stop)), and hid behind Sasuke.

"Hewp! Down't wet dwa baddie, baddie nejwie get two me, saswke-kwun!" he said in baby talk, looking at Sasuke with a puppy-dog pout.

But Sasuke's attention was located somewhere else. Let's say it was directed at a pink-haired teenager. She currently was facing someone else, and Sasuke could only see a side view of her. She was sporting an evil grin (A/N: uh oh…) but apart from that, her hair was loosely braided, framing her porcelain face, her green eyes glittering… with evil-ness that is… her lips were grinning, and shining like clear water. She was wearing a blouse, which was a bit tight on her chest. That's why guys were currently checking her out. Her long, slender legs were exposed, due to the fact she was wearing a short pair of shorts, and some sneakers. She had an armband on, and she was wearing finger-less gloves. Sasuke's eyes softened. _She's got a really nice figure… look at those- shit! What the hell am I thinking! Focus, Uchiha, the stupid mission first, _**_then_**_ the girl. Huh! The girl! What the hell-! I don't like her! She's irritating, dumb… but heck, she's so damn HOT! What the heck did this stupid girl do to me?_ Sasuke thought angrily. His brow furrowed as he peered his eyes, still looking at Sakura, and shook his head ever so slightly, his thoughts keeping him preoccupied. In a far-off distant place, he heard someone calling his name.

"Sasuke…?"

_who are you?_

"Sasuke…?"

_Hey, who are you?_

"Sasuke? Hey, bastard! Sasuke!"

_Don't call me a bastard, shithead…_

"**SASUKE, DAMN IT! ANSWER ME!**" Naruto said, shouting straight into his ear, blowing Sasuke's hair backwards. He suddenly saw that Sakura had seen him turning. Both blushed and looked away. Sasuke was suddenly brought back to earth as he heard Naruto's shout on his ear. His reflexes worked, and he gave a very, very, **very** painful punch, which made Naruto fly off to the other side of the gymnasium, and hit the wall with a loud 'CRASH!'

"NARUTO NO BAKA!" Sasuke said angrily, clearing his ears. "YOU IDIOT! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT HURT!"

"I-I think s-Sasuke-san h-hurt n-Naruto-kun more…" Hinata mumbled silently, a hand to her mouth because of shock. She silently went to the pile of rubble from the impact. She removed the blocks of cement, kneeled, and found a squished chibi Naruto with swirly eyes, and cute little foxes running around his head, each saying "Pwee! Pwee! Pwee!"

"N-Naruto-kun? A-are you o-okay?" she asked tentatively, dusting chibi Naruto's head of rubble.

"YOU BET!" chibi Naruto said, running around in circles, waving two fans with his little 'running-around-in-circles-like-an-idiot' routine. Everyone sweatdropped except for Hinata, who was smiling tenderly at Naruto with a trace of blush in her cheeks.

A teacher arrived with a bowl-cut hair, and ridiculously looking green spandex. He faced the students and gave his good-guy pose, and his teeth went 'ping!' for effect.

"Gasp! THE GREEN GOBLIN!" a Sasuke fangirl said. Everyone sweatdropped. Everyone except a student with the same bowl-cut hairstyle and ridiculously looking green spandex. He went beside the larger looking- moro- I mean teacher and gave his own trademark pose, and yes, his teeth went 'ping!' for effect as well.

"Gasp! THE GREEN GOBLIN JR.!" the Sasuke fangirls' friend said. Everyone double sweat-dropped and fell down anime style, except Sasuke, Neji, Shikamaru, Naruto (A/N: he was still running around like an idiot…), Hinata (I mean, ok, the sweatdrop came to her, but not the falling down! Imagine Hinata doing that!), and Shino (**A/N: THIS IS A TRIBUTE TO RLN! YO, GIRL, YOU'RE PAIRED WITH SHINO HERE!**) cause they had this cool thing going on, and, oh well, you know the thing.

"IDIOT, IT'S HOB GOBLIN! DON'T GO MESSING UP MY ENEMIE'S NAMES!" spider man said suddenly, out of nowhere. (didn't see that one coming…) Shino looked at him angrily.

"SPIDEY! I told you not to follow mummy in school! As painful as it is to me… I… I must give your punishment!" Shino said, turning away from spider man dramatically. Spider man gasped.

"NO! MUMMY PLEASE! ANYTHING! PLEASE MOMMYY!" he wailed, holding on to the hem of Shino's jacket thingy. Everyone sweatdropped.

"N-NO BUGSHAKES FOR DESSERT FOR YOU, SPIDEY!" Shino said, crying suddenly and falling on the floor, pounding on the wooden floorboard. Spider man cried himself. Everyone was nearly fainting now.

"n-no! m-mommy, mommy, please look at me!" spider man said, forcing Shino's face towards him.

"Oh no! RLN? RLN? Are you okay?" Kimiko asked.

"She's fainted! She's fainted! IHN! Help!" Yumi said, shouting to another girl who was trying to sneak off the gym.

"H-huh! Ahhh… (whistle whistle whistle…)" slips off gym door.

"I-I'm sorry, spidey… go back home… the punishment is made!" Shino said, shooing of spider man dramatically, tears still in his eyes.

"B-but…"

"OR God HELP ME, I SHALL GET THE BUG SPRAY!" Shino said, shouting and towering over spider man.

"Bye mom…" spider man crawls away.

Meanwhile, the two, uh, jer- I mean, you know… (A/N: shudders) were crying anime style, as in like waterfalls.

"LEE

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"**LEE!**"

"**GAI-SENSEI!**"

"ALRIGHT WE GET IT ALREADY!" someone shouted in the crowd.

HUG!

"eeeeiiiwww…"

"I-I think I'm gonna barf!"

Sasuke(in Konoha world): Man, this is more scary than reliving the killing scene between Itachi and my parents…

Shino came behind the two casually, cool-style, and pulled a sunset background with a sea. He then walked, casually again, back to the crowd, while almost all of the students inside were gaping like fish out of water, yes, even Sasuke and Neji and Shikamaru. Naruto, meanwhile was still dancing like an idiot, and when the wave thingy came, that usually enters every Gai-Lee hug, Naruto was swept with it.

"HEELP! HEEELLLPP! I CCAAAAAAANT SWWWWWWWIIIIIIIMMMMMMM! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSS! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DON'T WANNA BE FISH FOOD! **DON'T WANNA BE FISH FOOOODDDDDDD! I'M TOOO HANDSOOOMEE TOOO DIIIIEEEEEEEE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(cough, cough, drinks glass of water) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…**" the shark fins come closer. Then Naruto gets pulled down and his "oooooo…!" is turned into "blob, bubble, bubble, bubble, blob…" then a commotion begins and cloth pieces fly everywhere. The two continue to hug. A very irritated Sakura who is anxious to let off some steam for P.E. looks at the hugging duo angrily.

Twitch, twitch…

"Uh-oh…"

vein popping like fish out of water…

"Uh… hey! S-Sakura…"

kunai is gripped tightly…

with all her anger in it, Sakura throws the kunai between the hugging duos who saw it.

"EEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" they said, as in fangirl screeching voice. Everyone sweatdrops.

The kunai rips through the sunset.

"HEY! I PAINTED THAT FOR TWO DAMN HOURS, OKAY! DON'T JUST GO RUINING IT!" Shino shouted. OMG! Shino! Everyone backed away from Shino who was emitting bad aura, bugs flying everywhere, trying to escape themselves.

1st bug: (in puny small voice) "wetweeeeettt!" (translation: retreeeaat!)

2nd bug: (again, in the puny voice. All bugs here have puny voice) save the eggs! Save the queen!

Queen ant: can't… get… out… butt's… too… large… (bugs sweatdrop. Queen ants have big butts, right? Cause they lay these gazillions of eggs… anyway…)

"O-OKAY, Shino…. CA-CALM DOWN…" Gai said timidly. Shino gave him death glare.

"YOU SAID NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN TO MY SUNSET PAINTING THAT'S WHY I LET YOU BORROW IT! NOW YOU MUST DIIIEEE! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA! I'M SOOOO EEEEEEVVVVVVIIILLLLL! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!" Shino said, laughing like a madman. He stopped and looked at his bug army, which were trying as fast as their six legs would carry them, away from Shino. "WELL? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? LAUGH! THEN DESTROY THOSE TWO!" the bugs didn't move. One bug coughed. "GO!" the bugs laughed evilly with Shino. Then Shino raised a hand. All the bugs stopped laughing except for the bug that coughed before. He was still laughing madly, on his buggy little back, laughing his buggy little laugh. Shino's eye twitched. Well, if you could see it, I mean.

"You! Bug no. 1485458465646481746519545768763436846468764698798463878764658436876848!" Shino said, addressing to the bug who suddenly stopped laughing.

"D-did he actually know that bug's number?" Sakura asked RLN, who had recovered from her faint.

"Yeah… he keeps track of his bugs you know. So that they won't get lost." She said happily. Sakura sweatdropped with everybody else. Naruto came out of the 'sea' with his clothes torn, and a black eye on both eyes. Hinata entered comatose.

"You must receive punishment! NO CHAKRA PIES FOR DESSERT!" Shino said angrily.

Bug no. 1485458465646481746519545768763436846468764698798463878764658436876848: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! (dies)

"H-huh? Randy? Randy! Speak to me ma- I mean bug! Randy!" Shino said, reaching down and taking Randy, a.k.a. bug no. 1485458465646481746519545768763436846468764698798463878764658436876848 into his palms and crying. "Randy! RANDY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOO, PLEASE RANDY! I'LL GIVE YOU ALL THE CHAKRA PIES YOU WANT! WITH EXTRA CHAKRA TOPPINGS AND A SPECIAL EXTRA LARGE CHAKRA CHERRY ON EACH PIE! PLEEEAAASESEEE! NOOOOO!" Shino said, crying.

"RANDY! IT HAD A FREAKIN' EASY NAME TO REMEMBER AND HE CALLED IT BUG NO. 1485458465646481746519545768763436846468764698798463878764658436876848! WTF!" Sakura said angrily, while RLN was crying beside Shino, tapping his shoulder for comfort. Shino hugged RLN (A/N: awww… nice, eh?) and both started crying anime style. (A/N: okay, not 'awww…' anymore but 'ugh…')

Everyone was on his or her knees, begging for sanity.

"No… please God… I-I cannot die this way!" Neji said, crawling on the floor like he was dehydrated. Shikamaru stared at the dehydrated students and sighed.

"ITACHIII! KIILLL MEEE NOOOWWWWWWW!" Sasuke said, reaching out into the blinding light. In the middle of the light was Itachi wearing a white sleeveless gown, with-WTF! BRA? Itachi HAS BOOBS! (didn't see that one coming… again…)

"I'm sorry… my brother…" Itachi said, his hair flying around for effect, his hand outstretched dramatically. Sasuke gasped.

"NOOOOOOOO! ITACHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! DDOONT LEEAVEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"SASUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Uh… Naruto?"

"Yes, Sakura-chan?"

"To whom is Sasuke calling out to?"

"Oh, that's just his everyday imagination thingy…"

"Oh…"

Silence.

"EEEIIIIWWW…" both said.

* * *

Kakashi was having a pretty nice day. He had a bargain with his porn today, FIVE FOR ONLY 150 YEN! (A/N: again, I have no idea how much stuff cost in Japan, so just bear with me… thanks…) and he was humming happily as he read Come come paradise volume 5.

"Ah, gym is next! My favorite class will be waiting. I'm so lucky! The last day of the week, and I get to have the only normal class in this freaking school… today must be some dream…"

he opened the gym doors.

"Ah, high there, sorry, I was lost on the road of- WTF!" he said in disbelief. Half the class was on crawling on the floor like they were dehydrated or something. Shino was in the center, with a bug-sized urn, and beside it was a bug-sized oven. He had the dead bug cremated. Beside it were rows of bugs, which were crying. The queen bug was crying the loudest, bug-sized tissues everywhere. RLN was wearing a black gown. Gai and Lee were hugging, a taped sunset behind them. Naruto was soaking wet, Hinata was on coma, Sasuke was still crying out "ITACHHIIIIIIIIIIIII WHYYYYYYYYY!" Sakura was holding a kunai, saying "GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!" Ten-ten was sitting in front of a glass table having tea with Neji. Shikamaru was snoring. Ino had froth in her mouth. Kakashi sweatdropped, a rock with "great dream" fell on top of him then smashed into bits.

"Yep… the good dream turned into a nightmare…" he closed the doors and fully entered the gymnasium of doom.

* * *

**Author's note: okay thanks, people. didja lyk it? hehee... pretty OOC for shino, ne?hehehe... this is a dedication for RLN and IHN, okay? thanks for reading, R and R! thanx!**


	6. The weirdest PE period known to man

Disclaimer: "I despise having to repeat the same thing over again" –Shino

**Author's note:**

**Hello avid readers! I'm kinda sad 'cause I didn't get to enter that writing thingy, oh well, MORE TIME FOR YOU GUYS! ****HUG! (gives bear hug to all of the people who reviewed and the Naruto characters in the story)**

**Sasuke: no way am I gonna hug you…**

**Kimiko: who said I would? I might die of sasukechiotis…**

**Sasuke: what's that?**

**Kimiko: a disease known to man, which will cause you to turn into a HUMAN ICECUBE….**

**Sasuke: whatever…**

**Kimiko: anyways, R and R guys! oh, and by the way, as you all can see, i removed why do i dream, cause i wasnt contented. i'll finish this first, okay? thanks!**

**CHAPTER VI: THE WEIRDEST PE PERIOD KNOWN TO MAN**

* * *

Kakashi sweat dropped and looked around him. The only ones who were acting normal were Neji and Ten-ten… despite the fact that they were having tea in the morning… talk about people who knew time… 

Shino was still crying with RLN. Then, the priest came… and IHN fainted.

Yap. The priest was Haku.

And Zabusa was in the choir. Eiw. Zabusa can _sing_!

OMG… I DID NOT EXPECT THAT!

Anyways, Kakashi sweatdropped when he saw Haku and **Zabusa** leading a mass for randy. IHN was still on coma.

Finally, Kakashi was about to decide to end the insanity and get on with PE, 'cause Sasuke was clinging on to a random man's white dress, but-

_WTFG? MAN'S WHITE DRESS!_ Kakashi did a double take just to be sure. Sure enough, Sasuke was clinging to a man's dress.

_And I thought I was the one with problems…_ Kakashi thought as he heard the never-ending cries of

"ITACHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

"SASUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"ITACHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

"SASUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"ITACHIIIIIIIIII!"

"DAMN IT WILL YOU TWO STOP! ITACHI, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE OTHER NARUTO, TRYING TO ABDUCT NARUTO!" Sakura said irritably, her hand in a tight fist, holding a kunai.

"If my beloved brother is here, I SHALL STAY HERE AS WELL!" he said dramatically, his hands clasping around Sasuke's neck. Sakura sweatdropped. Her period was getting to her, and it was very irritating. She ran her hands through her hair, and screamed.

"DAMN IT! WILL ALL OF YOU GET INTO NORMAL! SHINO! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE CRYING FOR A FUCKING BUG, WHO'S NUMBER YOU REMEMBER INSTEAD OF THE EASY NAME! TEN-TEN! WHY ARE YOU HAVING TEA? YOU HATE TEA REMEMBER! YOUR TENTH BIRTHDAY PARTY-"

"Alright, no more tea! Don't mention the birthday, okay?" Ten-ten said, standing up and suddenly, the glass table, tea and chairs disappeared and Neji fell to the ground with a 'Thunk!'

"AND NOW, ITACHI, OF ALL PEOPLE, IS HERE! DON'T YOU HAVE SOME EVIL PLOT TO DO OR SOMETHING! GO RAPE OROCHIMARU OR… OR… WHATEVER! DON'T MESS WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR PERIOD, YOU HEAR ME!" Sakura said, fuming. Her eyes were blazing and everyone backed off to a corner, and whined, doggie style. Well… exemption of Kiba of course, and Akamaru, who were already dogs (o''o). Itachi suddenly stood up and removed the gown, leaving him… well… naked… (A/N: OMG! faints) and, surprisingly, he still had female chests. Sasuke's eyes went O.o and so did the other people inside. Itachi had boobs, AND chest hair. And there was this maple leaf covering his… uh… you know…

"OH MY GOD, Itachi! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU?" Sasuke said, his eyes still O.o just like everyone else's.

"AND WHY DON'T YOU HAVE UNDERWEAR!" Sakura shouted, her eyes twitching.

"They're lost, because…" turns on radio and dances to the tune while singing. "I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY BRA, TOO SEXY FOR MY PANTIE, TOO- hey, is it a pantie or brief? I better check…" he said as he prepared to remove his maple leaf. Everyone shouted random answers.

"NOOOOOO!" the chick-catchers, Sakura's group and the other boys shouted.

"YESSSSSSSS!" shouted Itachi fans and idiot girls.

"MAYBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" said some pervert guys.

"JIRAYAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Gai said.

"CALL AQUA-MAN!" someone shouted. Everyone turned to see a fish on a small pond.

"What?" he asked. Sakura's vein twitched.

Now, if you were walking towards Konoha high, you would hear a fangirl 'eep!' and then a fish would be flying out of the gymnasium, followed by several flying frying pans, senbon needles, kunais, shurikens, a baby bottle, and Itachi's underwear.

"Oh, so that's where it went…" Itachi said, looking at his flying underwear.

"I'm free! I'M FREE! **IIII AAAAAAMMMMM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! WAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA GOOD BYE TO DAYS OF BEING STUCK IN THE DIRTY CLOTHES BIN FOR 5 MONTHS BEFORE HE GETS THE SENSE OF WASHING ME! GOODBYE, YOU LAZY BASTARD! I'M FREEEEEEEE!**" the underwear said, flying off. Everyone sweatdropped and looked at Itachi, who was whistling the barney tune.

"Oh my God… and I thought Shikamaru was lazy…" Ino whispered, her eyes O.o. Shikamaru glared at her.

"Hey, I heard that…" he said.

"Oh, won't you look at the time! I have to er- make out with Orochimaru! Yeah, that's it! Alright, buh-bye!" and with that, he vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving his maple leaf behind.

Sweat drop.

Silence, then.

"Oops! Forgot the maple leaf…" he said, half of his naked body reappearing and taking the maple leaf. "Does anyone have tape or glue? I need to make sure the maple leaf is secure." Itachi asked. Dead silence. Someone fainted in the background. Itachi glared at them. "OKAY! I UNDERSTAND THIS IS PE, BUT SERIOUSLY, DOES ANYONE HAVE AT LEAST SAFETY PINS!" at this, everyone started becoming hysterical again. Gai covered Lee's eyes.

"LEE! YOUR VIRGIN EYES! YOUR POOR VIRGIN EYES!" Gai said, as he covered Lee's eyes with his hands.

"uh, sensei?"

"Yes my beloved student?"

"You're supposed to cover the ears, not the eyes."

"Oh, okay."

"CUT! ROLL BACK ON THE SCENE!" a director said in the background.

A man walked to the center, holding one of those thingys that they snap whenever making a scene? You know, the black and white thingy? That's it. Written in that thingy was:

Gai and Lee, safety-pin-on-maple-leaf-and-(tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttt!)

Scene 12334114598572365837466516516546516541651654!

"Lights, camera, ACTION!"

"Lee! YOUR VIRGIN EARS! YOUR POOR VIRGIN EARS!" Gai said, covering Lee's ears. The directors' eyes sparkled. As in literally had stars in it.

"PERFECT! CUT! AND COFFEE BREAK!" the director said. Everyone sweatdropped. Sakura tried to calm down.

"WAIT!" Kimiko suddenly said, holding a vanilla-frosted chocolate doughnut and some hot mocha latte and turning to address the group. "WHERE THE HELL IS KAKASHI?"

"Yeah!" IHN said, giving a beagle to Haku. "Where's Kurenai, anyways?" suddenly, there was dead silence. Someone munched on a doughnut in the background.

"K-Kakashi-s-sensei…" Naruto said, stuttering and squeezing his paper cup, the hot coffee overflowing on his hands, with him not knowing.

"A-and k-Kurenai…-s-sensei…" Hinata mumbled, her pale lavender eyes wide open, a Bavarian (A/N: you know that doughnut with cream filling inside, with confectioner's sugar dusted outside? Kimiko licks lips and says mmm! that's it.) shaking in her hand. The students of Kurenai and Kakashi looked at each other. Well, Sasuke and Shino not included, like they said, they were too cool for this sort of dramatic thingys.

"Y-you d-didn't t-think t-they h-had…?" Sakura asked Hinata.

"n-no! I-I m-m-mean, k-kur-kuren-nai s-sen-sei I-is v-very r-r-att-ion-al l-like y-you, s-Sakura-c-cha-n…" Hinata said, stuttering more than ever.

"Yeah, b-but w-we all know k-Kakashi's a…" Naruto started. The two girls and Kiba looked at him expectantly. "…p-perv-vert…" Hinata and Sakura hugged each other, and Kiba gave a fan girl squeal. Everyone looked at him.

"What? My sister screams like that, too." He said defensively.

"Kiba, your sister is a girl." Kimiko said.

"What's your point?"

Dead silence.

Everyone sweatdropped. "Never mind…" Kimiko said, a vein pumping in her temple.

"Hey… about that… gulp Kakashi and Kurenai thingy… y-you guys don't suppose…" Ino trailed off. Naruto smiled nervously.

"Hey! I mean… k-Kurenai's a tough girl, r-right, Hinata?"

"Y-yes! She'll probably uhm… use a genjutsu on him or something…" Hinata mumbled.

"BUT MY ETERNAL RIVAL HAS THE SHARINGAN!" Gai said, his voice booming. Dead silence again.

"Y-yeah… b-but… uhm…" Sakura started, trying to find a reasonable excuse. "K-Kurenai-s-sensei would just punch him like I do with Naruto, right?" Sakura said. Sasuke snorted.

"There's no escaping the Sharingan." He said simply. "It'll show you the movements before it happens." Sakura's eye twitched.

"JUST BECAUSE IT'S YOUR DUMB BLOODLINE DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO MAKE US FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE! WE'RE TRYING TO REASSURE OURSELVES THAT KURENAI-SENSEI AND KAKASHI-SENSEI ARENT D-DOING…" Sakura gulped here. "…SOMETHING UN… WELL, YOU KNOW, AND HERE YOU GO, ACTING LIKE SOME MR. KNOW-IT-ALL, RUINING IT!" she fumed. Sasuke snorted.

"Why don't you just take it that maybe they _did _do it?" he said lazily. Sakura cringed.

"EIW, SASUKE!" she said, moving away from him.

"It's not disgusting, you know." he said, his hands in his pockets. Hinata fainted, Naruto's eyes were O.o, Ino gaped, and Ten-ten said something with the words, 'sensei', 'pervert', and 'learned'.

"You seemed pretty relaxed Sasuke, what, you've done it already?" Sakura said, a menacing smile on her lips. Sasuke looked lazily at her.

"Yeah I have, lots of times before. I've seen you do it as well." He said, closing his eyes. Everyone looked at Sakura with O.o eyes.

"WHAT! I HAVE NEVER DONE THAT! NEVER! AS IN NOT! NADA! ZIP! ZERO!" she put her tongue between her lips and blew. "NO WAY! I'M STILL FIFTEEN, DAMN IT!" she shouted at Sasuke. He raised an eyebrow.

"I've seen you done it before. You even did it to me, remember? You even told me it was your best one yet." He said, shrugging. Everyone gaped at Sakura. Who was deep red, her mouth open and her eyes O.o

"NO WAY! H-HOW DARE YOU!"

"Admit it. I even saw Kiba do it to Shino before." He said, shrugging.

"YUCK! THAT'S JUST SICK, MAN!" Naruto shouted at Kiba.

"YUCK! NO WAY! I'D NEVER DO THAT, DAMN IT! SASUKE, WHRE ARE YOU GETTING THIS FUCKING SHIT FROM?" Kiba shouted at Sasuke.

"Yeah, I do remember it Kiba. You did it to me before. Akamaru did it to me as well. I even thought that you were bad at it, 'cause it was common knowledge that you suck at it, but you were actually pretty good." Shino said silently. Several girls fainted.

"THAT'S JUST SICK, SHINO-KUN!" RLN said, before entering coma. IHN looked at Haku.

"Y-you've never done it b-before… have you, Haku? I haven't…" she said to him quietly. Haku looked at her blankly in surprise.

"I have. Lots of times. Zabusa-san does, too. Sometimes we do it together." He said, smiling. IHN fainted.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?" Sakura asked angrily. "WE HAVENT DONE IT BEFORE!"

"You have! Sakura, you're even the best in it!" Neji said, raising his hands up in the air. "You did it to me before! I think you almost did it to everyone here before!" he said. Sakura's knees were turned to jell-o.

"s-Sakura-chan? J-just tell us the truth…" Naruto said quietly. Sakura glared angrily at him, blush in her face so deep, it was redder than blood.

"I. HAVE. NOT. DONE. IT. BEFORE!" she shouted angrily, stomping her foot with it.

"Impossible Sakura. I mean, even simple gennin can do it." Shikamaru said, shaking his head. Sakura gaped at them.

"Well, yeah, they do it, but not that good. One gennin did it to me once." Neji said, shrugging. Ten-ten was about to faint.

"YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING, DAMN IT! I'VE NEVER DONE IT BEFORE!" Sakura shouted at Sasuke, Neji, Shino, Haku and Shikamaru.

"Jeez, Sakura, you're the great Goddess of it!" Sasuke said. Sakura gaped at him.

"WHAT THE HECK- Sasuke! SHUT UP! THAT'S NOT TRUE, DAMN IT!" she said angrily. Sasuke sighed.

"You have done it. A million times before. You even know how to escape it! You always do, because it's always never too good for you…" he said. Sakura was about to faint. "Anyways, to prove, I'm gonna do it to you, RIGHT NOW." He said, crossing his arms. All his fangirls screamed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SASUKE-KUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNN!"

Sasuke glared at them and went nearer to Sakura.

"WTF! Sasuke! GET AWAY FROM ME!" she shouted, red, as she backed away.

"What? You'll easily get out from it, safe and sound," he said, rolling his eyes. "Your genjutsu skills have no match against anyone, doesn't it?" he said, crossing his arms.

Sakura blinked. _Genjutsu?_

"Yeah, like we said, you're the best in it!" Neji said, shrugging.

"We always do genjutsu together, right Zabusa-san? Especially when we need to out-run stupid hunter-nins." Haku said, smiling. Zabusa merely nodded.

"It's your specialty, Sakura." Sasuke said, shaking his head. Sakura blinked. All the girls said, "What?"

"wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" Sakura said, going nearer Sasuke, raising her hands before he, Sasuke, could speak. "So you're telling me, that **you guys** have been talking about genjutsu all this time?" she asked.

"Yeah." He said, shrugging.

"Even about Kurenai-sensei and Kakashi-sensei?" she asked.

"Of course. The genjutsu they set up was so easy to spot." He said, shrugging again. Sakura gaped. Now that he _did_ mention it, she could sense a lot of chakra around her. Too much. She sweatdropped. _Oh please don't let them ask about what **we **were talking about… oh please kami-sama! Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please!_ She thought, folding her hands and praying in thought. Sasuke sweatdropped, and something hit him.

"Oh, yeah. What were you guys talking about? You know, with all your 'yucks!' and whatever?" He asked. Sakura looked stonily at him.

"ahh… wh-what w-we were t-talking a-about?" she asked nervously. _Heeeeeellllllllpppppppppppp!_ She thought. She looked at Hinata and the others for help, but they were all happily dancing with relief. In fact a party even issued. Neji, Shikamaru, Haku, and Shino were all on the dance floor. (A/N: O.o) Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Well? Aren't you gonna tell?" he asked.

Sakura found herself blushing like mad. As if her past blushing wasn't enough! She fidgeted with the hem of her P.E. blouse and averted her eyes away from him. He had told her that she had done it to him before, and yes, it was her best genjutsu work yet. But if he told her…_ OH MY GOD… KAMI-SAMA HELP ME… UH… WHAT SHOULD I DO?_ She looked up. (A/N: the chick-catchers are a head taller than Sakura's girls) Sasuke was still looking down at her, an eyebrow raised. She quickly tuned away. _OH…MY…GOD… _she thought, as she played with the tail of her braid behind her back. Sasuke looked at her.

"Well?"

"uh… y-you… you wouldn't want to know…" Sakura said, her eyes looking at an inexistent piece of dirt on the floor. Sasuke followed her gaze. He sighed irritably, and turned on the Sharingan.

"Tell me." He said in a low voice. Sakura suddenly blushed, given by the tone of Sasuke's voice. Sasuke looked at her seriously, not a joke in his red eyes. Sakura backed off, only to be cornered at the wall. Sasuke put either hands on her sides, blocking her. She gulped.

"I want to know. What's so bad about it?" he asked, rolling his red-blood eyes. Sakura sweatdropped. _If you only knew… _she thought. Sasuke sighed.

"Yeah, exactly. If I DID know. But I don't, do I?" he said. Sakura gaped at him.

"What are you, a mind reader?" she asked, backing off, pressing her back more against the wall.

"Kind of like that. It's a new talent I developed on my Sharingan. So, you gonna tell or what?" he said, arms still on either side of Sakura, blocking her escape route. A drop of nervous sweat ran down her face. _Oh shit! He- wait! He can read minds! Damn this idiotic-oops… ehehehe… _she smiled nervously as a vein pumped in Sasuke's temple.

"Tell me."

"You're forcing the wrong person."

* * *

So? Hated it? Loved it? Answer through a review! The fluffy stuff are comin' up… still, THE COMEDY IS NOT LOST! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

Sasuke: idiot! Why'd you make me do that?

Kimiko: awww… it was so kewt!

Sasuke: nothing's cute about me cornering Sakura like that on the wall. What were you guys talking about anyway?

Kimiko: you'll find out in the next chappie…

Itachi: hey, what was with the maple leaf?

Kimiko: well, it got into my mind; cause there was this statue I remembered, with a guy naked. He had a leaf covering his… you know… it kinda resembled a maple leaf. THE LEAF, NOT HIS THING!

Itachi: well, what was with the boobs and chest hair?

Kimiko: uhm… my special idea… ehehehe…

Well! R and R!

Kimiko-chan-sakusasukawaii


	7. PE period finale!

Disclaimer: 'I despise having to repeat the same thing all over again…' -Shino

**Author's note:**

**HI Y'ALL! HOW'RE YOU ALL DOIN'? uh, sorry for the very late update, we went to Manila cuz as you remembered, my grandpa died (cries here) and we prayed for the forty days thingy… so… ehehehe… and we stayed there for… two weeks? Anyways, here's the long-awaited fanfic, with itsy bits of nejiten, dedicated to ToMoYo129, who have been waiting patiently for a very, very, VERY long time. Ehehehe…**

**On with the fanfic!**

**Oh, for those who read "Reach for me, take me home", I'm gonna update soon, okay? Btw, read it, for those who haven't. Hehehe…**

**

* * *

CHAPTER VII: PE PERIOD FINALĒ!**

Sakura could not **believe **how ignorant this bastard could get. Does he seriously want to know what she and the others were talking about after all the shit they mentioned? Like the fact that SHE was the goddess of IT, which at the time they, Sakura and the others, thought was sex, and at the time he, Sasuke and his group (except Naruto), thought was genjutsu, which by the way made pretty good sense.

"You really DON'T want to know. Trust me…" she tried again, well knowing his answer would be the opposite of what she wanted. Sasuke glowered at her.

"Trust you? That would be the last thing I'd do." He said angrily. "Why don't you just tell? How bad could it be?" Sakura gaped at him. _Worse should be the word…_ she thought, inwardly sweat dropping. Sasuke gritted his teeth in frustration.

"It's really bad Sasuke," she said, trying to convince him with her chibi-face, which was pleading. Sasuke sweat dropped.

"I want to know."

"You don't…"

"I DO! JUST SAY IT! ITS NOT THAT HARD!" he shouted. All the people in the room looked at him, shocked. Kiba slowly went towards Sasuke.

"Uh… Sasuke? Dude, I know Sakura's hot, pretty, nice, and intelligent and all, and I know how you're feeling; you know, no one can resist Sakura… (Sasuke glared at him here… note! He was blushing also.) … But, uh… isn't it too much to be forcing her to say "I DO" to your proposal? Yeah, I know, Haku's here, but MAN! YOU'RE JUST SEVENTEEN! AND- aaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Kiba screamed, (like a fangirl again) 'cause Sasuke started chasing him, throwing lots of kunai, shuriken, senbon needles, frying pans, forks, spoons, knives, plates, and… doggie treats.

"Oh YEAH! PEDIGREE! MORE!" Kiba opened his mouth, so did Akamaru, but they were stuffed with a frying pan instead. Kiba got the pan; Akamaru got the fried bacon and eggs.

"How come you get the food?"

"Arf!"

"YOU ARE SO NOT SPECIAL!"

"ARF!"

"OKAY! YOU ARE! BUT NOT TOO SPECIAL!"

"ARF!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Arf!"

"NU-UH!"

"ARF!"

"**NU-UH!**"

"**ARF!**"

The others sweatdropped as Kiba and Akamaru had their 'Nu-uh! And yea-uh! (Arf!)' Thingy. And Sasuke went back to trying to make Sakura tell what she was talking about.

"I want to know! I do, I do, I do, I do, I do!" he said, giving a child pout. Sakura sweat dropped, as Sasuke became chibi Sasuke and sat down, thumping his hands and feet on the wooden floor, having a childish tantrum.

"WAAAA! I WANT TO KNOW! I'M TELLING YOU TO MOMMY!" chibi Sasuke said. Sakura sweatdropped again, falling down anime style.

"Sasuke, I won't tell you, 'cause first, you aren't of age," Sakura was sweat dropping as she said this. I mean, hello, Sasuke was seventeen, and he was acting like SEVEN! "And I don't care if you tell your mom, cause all she can do is haunt me from the dead, which would unlikely happen."

"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW? YOU'RE NOT THE ONE TYPING THE STORY, WOMAN!" Sasuke said, crossing his arms over his broad chest, now back to his usual cool, confident, and egotistical seventeen-year-old self. At least that was what Sakura thought so… Sakura and Sasuke looked at me. I stared blankly at them.

"What?" I finally asked, giving them a 'what're-you-looking'-at?' stare. They stared back, eyebrow twitching angrily.

"WELL?" Sakura asked, tapping her foot impatiently, and crossing her arms across her, ehem, rather large chest. "WHOM ARE YOU SIDING WITH? WILL SASUKES' MOM HAUNT ME OR NOT?" I sweatdropped and fell down anime style. I typed non-stop on the keyboard.

"THERE! NOW, IF YOU SHUT UP, WE MIGHT GET BACK TO THE DAMN STORY!" I said, pressing the enter button.

Sasukes' moms' ghost appeared in front of them. Sasuke whooped while Sakura glared at my seat, where I was typing carelessly, a dreamy look in my eyes.

"Oh yeah! My mom is soo gonna haunt you," he said, imitating some teenage blondie girl. Sakura sweatdropped. How weird will this PE period GET? Sasukes' moms' ghost chased Sakura around the gymnasium.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…"

Spongebob Squarepants narrator: Twelve hours later… 

"…HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- cough, cough-!" Sakura inhaled and exhaled, then, she tripped and fell because of loss of energy, her eyes swirly. Sasuke stared at her, and laughed a maniac, evil, menacing, horrible, eerie, spine-tingling, bone-crushing…

Spongebob Squarepants narrator: another twelve hours later… 

Hair-raising, heart-racing, chilling, idiotic, scary, evil… did I say evil? Uh… laugh. Her mothers' ghost stared angrily at him.

"THERE YOU GO, LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OUT, WHILE I DO THE DIRTY WORK! HOW DARE YOU COME INTO THE WAY OF MY ACUPUNCTURE THERAPY! DO YOU REALIZE HOW HARD AND EXPENSIVE IT IS TO ARRANGE AN ACUPUNCTURE THERAPY FOR GHOSTS?" his moms' ghost hollered at him. Sasuke sweatdropped.

"I'm going back to the grave! And don't you make this cute author… (A/N: awww… people glare at her. "What?") …Write that I do some idiotic thing for you!" she turned around, and looked back at Sasuke, a motherly smile on her face. "And make sure you eat your vegetables, sweetie!" she said lovingly, and kissing him on the forehead as if nothing happened. With a 'pop!', Sasukes' moms' ghost disappeared. Sakura had woken up from her loss of energy, and she had been sweat dropping for the past… uh… minutes of Sasukes' moms' ghosts' tantrum about some therapy, and telling Sasuke _lovingly _to eat his vegetables.

"Uh… SO! Uh…? Sasuke?" Sakura asked, prodding his side gently, wondering why he was acting all… idiotic like that… well, more than his usual idiotic self, that is. His eyes were hazy, and there was some stupid and goofy smile on his face.

"MY MOTHER KISSED ME ON THE FOREHEAD!" he said, grabbing Sakura into a hug. Sakura, in a shock, gasped, as Sasuke gave her a tighter teddy-bear hug.

"SASUKE! LET THE FUCKING HELL GO OF ME!" she screamed, his eyes suddenly opening, and seeing he was hugging Sakura non-stop, and VERY TIGHTLY, he screamed, high-pitched and in a fan girly way, and leaped five feet from her, as Sakura did the same.

"Uh… Sasuke?" Ten-ten asked tentatively.

"What?"

"Did you just scream like a fan girl?"

Silence.

A grasshopper chirped. An Australian guy slowly went towards the grasshopper, and beckoned cameras-that-came-out-of-nowhere nearer.

"This, people, is the rare Australian leaf-eating grasshopper," he said in his Australian accent. "And, like its name states, it EATS GRASS!"

An unknown audience 'oooh'-ed at him.

"AMAZING!" someone shouted from the audience.

"AMAZING!" the rest of the audience echoed. The students sweatdropped.

More silence.

"Uh… Mr. freakin'-guy-who-thinks-this-stupid-grasshopper-is-fascinating-but-isnt," Neji asked, a vein twitching in his head.

"Yes, ma'm?"

Neji snapped.

"I AM NOT A GIRL, DAMN IT! WHY DO YOU THINK I'M A GIRL?" he asked angrily. The Australian guy, Bob, shrugged.

"You got hair longer than that brownie bunned girl, with WOW! BIG BRE-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed, as a rain of everything metallic rained on him. Knives, kunai, shuriken, needles, frying pans, swinging maces, some nails, (as in the ones used in making houses and stuff like that…) spoons, forks, egg-beaters, a mixing machine, an oven, a microwave, a swing set, a kitchen burner, a freezer, a sink, a refrigerator, a computer, and…

"What the- hey! I need that to write the next scene!" Hikari, me, shouted. The computer landed neatly in front of me, complete with chair, table, headphones, and a web cam. "Thanks!"

Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, a computer, and… Itachis' underwear. Itachi was still chasing it, holding his leaf in place since no one gave him some glue and pins.

Next, Bob was faced with a very, very, VERY, **VERY**, ANGERED Hyuga. HINATA! NOT! It was Neji. With his Byakugan on, and an extra vein pumping at his temples. His hands were balled into angry fists, and his eyes were glowing red.

"HEY! WHY DO YOU GET TO COPY THE SHARINGAN, BUT I DON'T GET TO COPY THE BYAKUGAN?" Sasuke shouted.

"Shut up, girly! I've got a Hakke to perform!" Neji said angrily.

Sasuke shut up.

"YOU ARE IN MY FIELD OF DIVINATION, AND ARE GONNA DIE IN EXACTY 1.8 SECONDS LATER!" he shouted angrily at Bob.

Spongebob Squarepants narrator: 1.8 seconds later… 

"SIXTY-FOUR!" Neji shouted, attacking Bobs' chakra points, although he had none, and ended up nearly killing Bob, who was now a pile of flesh, blood everywhere. He had blood spat out at his first two hits, his stomach had popped out at four, his brain had stopped functioning at eight, his liver was reduced to nothing at sixteen, his blood clotted at his arms at thirty-two, and his heart leaped out of his mouth at sixty-four. All in all, he was better dead.

"Whoa…" Sakura said, her eyes O.o like everyone else's, and yes, including the I-do-not-make-reactions Uchiha Sasuke, who completely forgot that his one of his best friends had called him girly. Ten-ten looked like someone showed her some sex video, which she didn't like.

"Uh… Neji?" she asked quietly, a chibi Ten-ten playing with the hem of her blouse. Neji glared at her.

"What woman? Can't you see I'm in a very bad mood?" he spat at her. Ten-ten gave him a nervous smile, which made Neji blush ever so slightly.

"What you did was cool and all… but, uh… I have something to say…" she said, playing with her fingers, Hinata-style. Neji quirked an eyebrow, his vein pumping.

"And what would that be?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Bob doesn't have chakra points."

Silence.

"So?"

"He's dead."

"Oh."

More silence. Then…

"RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG-cough cough-! GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!" the bell said. Everyone went out of their classrooms to go outside for the end of the day. The whole PE period took the rest of the day, so… ehehehe… anyways, the students of Sakuras' class went out, chatting happily as if nothing happened. Four men came, holding buckets, paints, cement, shovels and cleaning tools.

"Cleaning Brigade!" they shouted lazily. They started cleaning the walls, and replacing lost windows, chairs, kitchen stuff, and are now taking my computer back to my room.

"Thanks!" I said.

"You're typing the story."

"Oh. Well, get back to work."

They arranged the rest of the chairs, and mopped up Bob in a bucket. Hinata fainted, and Neji carried her, 'cause his uncle would get really, really, angry if he found out Neji had left his cousin unconscious beside a bucket of a nearly dead person which was by the way, his, Nejis' fault. Sakura remained in the PE room, watching as her classmates went out of the gym, matter-of-factly as if Itachi hadn't popped out wearing only a maple leaf asking for glue or pins, Sasukes' moms' ghost appeared and chased her, Sakura around the whole gym, Itachi's underwear started speaking, Shino revealed he painted Gai and Lees' sunsets, Sasuke and Kiba screamed like fangirls, Neji activated the Byakugan and Sharingan at the same time, which by the way, Sasuke is still sulking cause he can't do it as well, Bob appeared, Sasuke became chibi Sasuke, the Spongebob Squarepants narrator replaced the narrator, there were sharks in the gym, Kakashi and Kurenai were still laughing their butts out because of the genjutsu they set up, and speaking of which, the disgusting misunderstanding between two groups which was about sex and genjutsu. Sakura shuddered at the thought of that incident, and sweatdropped when she saw Neji being calm as ever.

"Uh Neji?" she asked. Neji looked back.

"Yeah?"

"Did you know you nearly killed someone?"

"Yeah. What's your point?"

Sakura sighed.

"It's gonna be a weirder day tomorrow…" she said, yawning. Grabbing her book bag, she took off with her friends towards the mall, all of them unknown to eight pairs of eyes watching them closely from behind.

**

* * *

So? Whaddaya think? Is it good? Ehehehe… the next one has more nejiten and shikaino, ehehehe! Let the humiliation begin! Bwahahahhaaaaaa! Uh…. Review!**

**Pls. also read my other fanfic, and review as well your comments and suggestions , **

**Oh, and here are a few answers to my reviews…**

**NaruHina113- thanks! Here it is! XP**

**dark-adonis- bwahahhaaaaaaaa! Ok 'no? Ehehehehe, eto pa o, kung gusto mo! Ingat lang, baka masira tiyan mo kakaktawa…. XP**

**Kumi-iz-Mii- hoped this fic made you feel better… **

**sasukefurever- thanks!**

**Niwatori Shimauma- get used to it! Bwahahahahahaaa! Did you like this chappie?**

**harukakanata- here it is!**

**lunarangel- ehehehe, sorry if I hurt your feelings, but do understand that this is nothing but a crazy Parody. I picked Kiba 'cause it would score better points, 'cause you wouldn't expect him to scream like a girl. Oh yeah, and because he's the only one with a sister. O.o? Anyhu, about the Shino thingy, Shino was saying that 'it' was genjutsu, y'know? Cause he didn't expect Kiba to be that good in genjutsu 'cause Kiba is more on taijutsu. Read it again, replacing Shinos' 'its' with genjutsu. It'll make sense. Kiba was confused… he thought it was sex, just like Sakura and the others… **

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	8. Behind chocolate eyes

Disclaimer: 'I despise having to repeat the same thing all over again…' -Shino

**Author's note:**

**Halloo, beautiful people! Thanks again for waiting SO patiently… I would've cracked if I was in your place… anyhu, this is the next chappie, duh, and I put a lil' nejiten here… in a weird sort of way… (Insert evil cackle) and to inform everyone in advance, I'll be putting a little itsy bitsy bit of drama here… so, that's all! Oh yeah! Before I forget. TO SEE LATEST UPDATES AND FAN ANSWERS, VIEW MY AUTHORS' PAGE EVERYDAY! THAT'S ALL, THANKS!**

**shikaino will be posted on the next chappie, sorry fans!**

**update this june until the rest of the school year will be pretty slow... i seriously need to rub my nose against the grindstone... if you know what i mean...**

**anywho!**

**On with the fanfic!**

**CHAPTER VIII: BEHIND CHOCOLATE EYES**

* * *

Ten-ten groaned as she heard the ring of an alarm clock beside her bed, ringing innocently on top of her bedside table. Quickly taking a kunai, she threw it in the alarm clocks' direction, and had it pinned on her wall, along with its other deceased and pinned cousins. Ten-ten gasped as she saw what she had done.

"Oh my God, that was the 20456th alarm clock! (A/n: Hint! Hint! The title!)" Ten-ten shouted, angrily slamming her head against the bedroom wall. She was still slamming her head against the wall when Sakura entered, her pink hair, perfect as ever, her white tank top stretched across her beautifully-shaped torso, her white skirt reaching half of her thigh, yet she was still in her bunny slippers. She was holding a glass of milk and a plate of toast. She yawned.

"Hey, Ten-ten. I see you've woken up." She said simply, a small smile on her face. Ten-ten snorted.

"How do you get to be so preppy when its just 4 am?" she asked. She paused then answered her own question. "Oh, you must be a morning person." Sakura just shrugged.

"I never was, remember? That time we were going to the beach? You guys woke me up so early, I thought someone was attacking me and I rained you with kunais."

Ten-ten laughed. "Yeah, Ino even thought it was me, performing the twin dragon technique." Both girls laughed. Sakura smiled at her friend.

"See? Your hair is just as nice as mine." She said, fingering Ten-tens' silky, shoulder-length brown hair. Ten-ten ran her hand through it.

"I don't even bother to fix it, do you know that?" she said, standing up and fixing her bed. "I just tie it in ordinary buns!" she said as she stepped into the bathroom and washed her face. Sakura smiled.

"I guess girls who fix their ways in the simplest ways ever have the most beautiful hair. Sakura said, tugging gently at her loosely braided hair behind her back. She heard Ten-ten snort in the bathroom.

"I'll be down in five!" she shouted from the searing shot of water from her shower.

"'Kay!" Sakura replied, putting the plate on the table in Ten-tens' bedroom. As she closed the apartment door, she went down the hallways, to a large and carnivorous kitchen, where Ino was drinking the mocha that Hinata had made. The four girls lived in a simple, but elegant building. The bedrooms were originally apartments, but they turned it into bedrooms, and asked their fathers to make an extended kitchen. The living room was the first thing you'll see when you enter the door, and before the door, was a beautiful front yard, with an even more beautiful backyard garden, complete with garden tables, benches, a fountain, swimming pool and the forest in Lord of the Rings, complete with mini mount Doom. Oh yeah, Gollum was still in the forest, sleeping. The girls decided to let him stay in the forest, after he annoyed them with his irritating "My Precious!" and he'd chase Sakura, who was wearing a ring similar to The One Ring, except it didn't have the idiotic markings no one could understand.

"Hey, how's sleepyhead?" Ino asked, handing Sakura a white mug with a cherryblossom in it, nearly filled to the brim with mocha. Sakura took the mug and sat down, taking a bowl filled with frosted cornflakes, strawberries, and blueberries. She looked at the carton of milk, shrugged, and put it back on the shelf.

"She's taking a bath. She'll be down soon…"

"Not unless she falls asleep the bathroom… again…" Ino said, munching on her toast. She noticed Sakura didn't put milk on her bowl, which wasn't surprising. When asked why, she'll tell you that the cereal would loose its crunch, which made perfect sense. She hated soggy cereal. Hinata activated her Byakugan and looked up at the position where Ten-tens' bathroom was. She smiled.

"Hey, she didn't fall asleep!" she said happily. Ino looked up, as if she had a Byakugan.

"Are you sure? I can't see…"

Sakura and Hinata sweatdropped as Ino continued on looking up at the ceiling, long after Ten-ten had come down.

**

* * *

Meanwhile, at the boys' apartment…**

"NARUTO! WHERE THE FUCKING HELL IS THE CEREAL!"

"I DON'T (insert abnormally large burp here) KNOW, DAMNIT! (Insert abnormally large hiccup here)" Naruto replied, trying to burn all the empty cereal boxes. Poor captain frost is burning to a pile of cinder… Sasuke entered his apartment, Sharingan eyes on, with veins around his temple. Naruto gasped.

"SASUKE! LOOK! LOOK! LOOK IN THE MIRROR!" Naruto said, jumping up and down.

"WHAT!" he asked angrily. He looked at the mirror, and squealed like a fangirl again.

"OH MY GOD! I CAN ACTIVATE THE BYAKUGAN AND SHARINGAN AT THE SAME TIME!" Sasuke said, clapping his hands to his cheeks as if he was a crazed fangirl who had seen her favorite rock star or whatnot.

"Yeah!" Naruto said, taking the chance to burn the cereal boxes in a hurry. As the boxes were reduced to cinder, he looked around to find a Sasuke who was dancing like a chicken in a circle. He sweatdropped.

"I can activate the Sharingan and the Byakugan at the same time! I can activate the Sharingan and the Byakugan at the same time! I can activate the Sharingan and the Byakugan at the same time! La-la-la-la-la-la!" Sasuke said in a singsong tone. Naruto marveled at how Sasuke could fit all the words perfectly with timing to the beat.

"Uh, yeah!" he said, sweatdropping. Sasuke then turned to him, the Sharingan redder than ever, the veins more noticeable than before.

"Now, YOU DIE!" Sasuke said, chasing after Naruto around the room, shouting as they ran down the stairs towards the living room. They then passed the Hyuga who was meditating in the middle of the living room. Shikamaru was lying lazily in the couch, watching the a TV program, which was called, "Yoga for the lazy." Neji opened one eye and looked at the whir of blue and orange, running around.

"Hey! Don't you two go around destroying the living room again," Neji said calmly, closing the open eye and returning back to his meditation.

"Don't bother their argument. One, you'll get dragged in, and two, they'll be paying for the damage anyway." Shikamaru lazily said, yawning. He looked at the clock.

"Hey, it's 4:30, I think we should start the alien capturing thingy." He said. As if in a movie being played by a DVD player with the pause button pressed, Sasuke and Naruto hung in mid-chase, Sasuke on one foot, his hands in front of him wanting to grab the orange-clad blond in front of him, with eyes like O.O and anime tears flowing, which, of course, stopped in mid-flow. Both turned their heads and looked at Shikamaru.

"Oh yeah…" Sasuke said. He went into the kitchen, and found a cereal box sitting innocently in front of the table, a bowl and spoon beside it. His eyes became starry, and he clasped his hands together like a mother would do if she saw her teenage son wearing his bunny pajamas. He squealed; making the other three jump. Yes, even Neji.

"Sasuke likes squealing like a girl, ne?" Naruto said, peeking into the kitchen, where Sasuke was happily kissing the cereal box.

"Dude, that means you're next…" Shikamaru said, looking at Neji. Neji raised an eyebrow.

"Why me?"

"'Cause it seems like the people that are being attacked by the girl-squeal syndrome are those who are prodigies, brave, heartless and are cold bastards." Shikamaru simply said. Neji glared at Shikamaru.

"You're right about the first two, but for your informa-EEEKKKK! COCKROACH! COCKROACH! NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Neji squealed, jumping on top of the glass table, his hands pulling down the hem of his shirt like a skirt. Shikamaru and Naruto sweatdropped.

"Dude, if Shino saw you, he'd kick your ass…" Naruto said to Neji. Neji looked angrily at Naruto.

"He would not!" he said, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Of course he would! He'd just call his buggy little friends, and have them scare the shit out of you." Naruto said, looking lazily at Neji. Shikamaru nodded. Neji glared at the two of them.

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm not scared of bugs! I'm Hyuga Neji for Petes' sake!" Neji said, coming down cautiously from the glass table and looking around carefully for the dreaded cockroach. Shikamaru sweatdropped. Naruto smirked.

"Hey, look. A spider!" Naruto said, pointing at an invisible spider on Neji's shoulder.

"EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF. GET IT OFF, GET IT OFFF!" Neji squealed, flinging his hands like some blonde schoolgirl. Naruto started laughing his butt out. Shikamaru sighed.

"Naruto… it's the tooth fairy…" he said silently. Naruto looked around, shaking.

"W-where!" he asked, looking around cautiously while Neji started running around, still screaming from the top of his lungs.

"Look, there's its shadow…" Shikamaru said, an inner Shikamaru laughing evilly, shaping Naruto's shadow with a shadow with wings, and a wand with a tooth on top.

"EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he said, running around with the shadow following him, saying a sinister, "Don't you want a dollar, sweetie? Just give me a tooth, darling, you'll get your dollar!" Shikamaru smiled lazily at the two who were running around like sissies.

"Hey, Sasuke…" he started, looking at the back of his cousin. "Can I have a bowl-?"

"**NO!**" Sasuke replied with a sinister growl as he grabbed the cereal box and hugged it like a lifeline. Shikamaru sweatdropped. "**THE CORNFLAKE GOODNESS IS MINE! MINE! MIIINNNEEE!**" he roared at Shikamaru, laughing evilly, Orochimaru-style. Orochimaru stepped in and laughed with Sasuke. Kabuto stepped in and started laughing evilly with the two of them. Shikamaru sweatdropped. Sasuke stopped laughing but the other two were still laughing, like they had conquered the world or something. Sasuke bonked them each on the head.

"You may go." He said quietly to them.

"Yes master." The two said, bowing in front of him, and disappearing in a puff of smoke. Sasuke turned to Shikamaru, his eyes activating the Hyuga and Uchiha bloodline at the same time again, for the second time that day. Shikamarus' eyes went O.O and he trembled.

"H-hey… I was just asking for a bowl of cereal…" he started, looking at his supposedly cousin, who was now sporting fangs, horns, and for some reason, butterfly wings. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, dude… the wings… they, like, ruin the whole devil picture thingy." He said, complete with surfer accent. Shikamaru gulped as the wings burned to be replaced by huge, demonic dragon wings. "'Cuz, its just cereal… chill…" he whispered, a sweatdrop falling behind his head, waving his hands frantically. Sasukes' eye twitched. _Uh-oh… _and his hands clenched into fists. _Okay… I can see it now… hello, welcome to funeral homes, funeral parlor! What can I do for you? Uhm, I'd like a medium-sized coffin please. Would you like the body to be cremated or buried? On second thought, just a plastic bag. I'm sure I'll be able to fit in that after my best friend's done with me… will the plastic bag be decorated with jewels? Uhm… no. Will we be holding a memorial service for the dead? Yes, that'll be fine. How would you like a tombstone with that? Marble? Silver? Gold? Bronze? Platinum plated? Diamond encrusted? Uhm… marble will do. Okay, sign here, and we'll immediately sweep your remains when you have been reduced to nothingness. Thank you, that's very kind and reassuring…_ Shikamaru felt like ass.

"JUST CEREAL!" Sasuke roared, blowing back Shikamarus' hair, anime style. "**JUST CEREAL MY ASS! HOW DARE YOU CALL THIS CEREAL JUST CEREAL… THIS IS **(activate Gollum voice) **MY PRECIOUS!**" Sasuke suddenly crouched down, Gollum style, hugging the 'precious' which was an outdated box of cornflakes. Shikamaru sighed.

"Okay, cuz… you can-"

"IT'S GOLLUM, DAMNIT!" Sasuke retorted back, his Gollum little fingers squeezing the precious.

"Uh, whatever, GOLLUM," Shikamaru said, emphasizing on the word 'Gollum' "I'm gonna go and watch TV, go make out with your precious, I don't care…" Shikamaru said, walking moodily towards the TV. As he flipped on the TV, he smiled to see that his show was still on, until…

"And that ends this Yoga for the lazy session. Tune in again next year!"

Shikamaru gaped. He looked at the TV. "No… no… no, please!" he crawled to the television, and hugged it dramatically as if it was going to die of an incurable sickness.

"NO! TELE! NO! PLEASE! PLEASE! DON'T DO THIS TO ME! NOOO! **NOOO! DON'T! PLEASE, TELE! TELL ME THERE'S A REPLAY! TELL ME THERE'S A REPLAY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…**"

* * *

**Spongebob Squarepants narrator:** Meanwhile… at the street leading to the boys' building…

Sakura skated on her roller blades gracefully, as it was almost second nature for her. Her mind was focused on the piece of sh- I mean assignment that they had been forced into. Her helmet was pretty cute, it had greeted her a cheerful 'Good morning!' and ate breakfast with her. Thank Kami-sama; all the monsters and the girls went harmoniously.

"Hey… you don't bite, do you?" Ten-ten asked her monster as she also rolled down on her roller blades. The monster looked down on her, as if taunting her.

"Do I look like a dog to you?" it asked Ten-ten. Ten-ten laughed nervously.

"You act like one…"

"Arf…" the helmet said lazily, sweatdropping.

"Hey! Hey Ino! You smell nice!" Inos' helmet told her. Ino beamed brighter than the sun.

"Thanks, remember that perfume I showed you last night? That was it!"

"Oh!"

"I'll use it on you after the day, when we take a bath…"

"Sure! Thanks!"

It had seemed that the helmets were very much like their owners. Heck, even Hinatas' helmet was stuttering like her.

"H-Hinata-sama… I liked the m-mocha you made…" the lavender helmet said, blushing. Hinata blushed herself, pleased that even aliens appreciated the simpler things in life.

"T-thank you… you c-can call me H-Hinata-chan… '-Sama' is too… much…"

"Why is that, Hinata-chan?" the helmet asked.

"'Cause Hinata always gets called like that back at her house. It gets pretty sick once in a while." Sakura said, shrugging and giving her monster-helmet a handful of frosted cornflakes… she had brought a bag with it since they enjoyed it so much.

"Oh!" the monster-helmet said, looking shyly and apologetically at her owner. "I-I didn't mean to offend you, Hinata-chan…"

"No, I-it's okay. You didn't know anyways, so it's okay." Hinata said cheerfully.

"You're so kind…" the monster said happily.

As the four rounded a corner, they realized how deathly quiet it was. Looking at each other, they shrugged.

"Why is it… so quiet?" Sakura asked. A gust of wind rolled by, and seeing the uncertain looks on her friends' faces, she cautiously rolled on her roller blades towards the boys' building. Reaching out a finger-less gloved hand, she touched the cold doorknob, and turned. Her hand gripped tightly on a kunai, the wings on her monster-helmet expanded and slightly hovered at her sides, ready to spring and protect her front when an attack issued. Her three best friends stood behind her, holding the paralyzing guns in front of them, their knees shaking, the monster-helmets in the same positions as Sakuras' monster-helmet. Sakura turned around to face them. She nodded, and the other three nodded back. She turned the doorknob, and gave the door a kick, sending it flying to Australia.

What they saw scarred their memory for the rest of their lives.

The first thing they saw was a blur of white, screaming at the top of its' lungs like a psycho fangirl.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH! SPIDER! NOOOOOOOOO! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, **GET IT OFF!**" Neji shouted, flinging his arms frantically around, oblivious to the four girls gaping unbelievably at him.

Next, their attention was lured to a sobbing Shikamaru, still hugging the television.

"NOOO! TELE, DON'T DIE ON ME NOW! BRING IT BACK! **BRING IT BAAACCCKKKK! DON'T DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**" Shikamaru shouted, on his knees and looking up at the ceiling as if all the answers were there. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

The girls sweatdropped and saw Naruto running around the living room, and they gasped as tears of fright started filling up the HUMONGOUS living room.

"NOOOOOOO! MAKE IT GO AWAY! BAD TOOTH FAIRY! **BAD TOOTH FAIRY!**" he shouted, running from his own shadow, which was laughing maniacally. The four girls sighed and entered the kitchen, hoping to find Sasuke, and a little bit of his sanity.

How utterly wrong they were.

The kitchen was turned into a mini-hell version, dark paint splattered across the once white walls, the kitchen burners all turned on high, a volcano bubbling with lava matter-of-factly at one side, a lake of lava and stone around them, dark puffs of carbon monoxide coming out of the air conditioners. How ironic. And above it all, Sasuke was floating, his hair in disarray, wearing a large, billowing cloak of black, wearing black… uh… everything. He looked very much like how he looked when he encountered poor 'lil Shikamaru… ehehehe…

But Sakura had enough.

And so did Ten-ten.

So then, Kami-sama had mercy, opened the skies, and down rained…

Kunai.

Lots of kunai.

Lots of poison-tinted kunai.

Lots of rusted and poison-tinted kunai.

And Itachis' deadly underwear.

In a blink of an eye, the boys returned to normal, only to be turned into chibi little Naruto, Shikamaru, Neji and Sasuke. (A/N: Awww… -starts squeezing chibi Naruto, Shikamaru, Neji and Sasuke plushies-) and run around the room, screaming and dodging the millions of deadly kunai.

Suddenly, Nejis' common sense clicked, and he preformed his Kaiten, and the other three chibis took shelter under him.

_Finally! _The PMS-ing Ten-ten thought angrily, tapping her foot in annoyance. Meanwhile, Hinata had evaporated, only to return, cradling four hungry and cute little monster-helmets, who were crying in Hinatas' protective arms. For some reason, Narutos' eyes darkened. (A/N: hmmm… I wonder why… ;))

"Uhm… I heard them crying upstairs." Hinata said shyly as the four men raised an eyebrow towards her direction.

"Apparently, their so-called **OWNERS** haven't fed them yet!" Ino said, appearing behind Hinata, her arms crossed, tapping her foot. Neji and Sasuke looked away, a smug look on their faces, Naruto had his hands behind his head, whistling a tuneless tune, and Shikamaru yawned. Having enough of their arrogance and egotistical-ness, Sakura and Ten-ten rushed for Sasuke and Neji respectively, and did the unthinkable, for every girl in school, besides the four of them. They slapped the two, leaving the two stunned, still facing the direction where the girls slapped them, a red tinge on the cheek they had slapped.

"We. Have. Had." Ten-ten started, her chocolate eyes boring angrily into Nejis' white ones.

"Enough." Sakura finished, breathing heavily, jade green eyes sparkling with irritation. Sasuke looked at her, for once, in a serious kind of way. Seeing this, his eyes closed, and he sighed.

"Sorry." he mumbled.

* * *

Neji looked at the brown bunned female who was atop an oak tree, eyeing the surroundings carefully. Neji, with his Byakugan activated, did not have to do such unruly things. Why? Simply because of the fact he's a Hyuga. Isn't that reason enough? He noticed how gracefully she would climb higher on the branches, looking for a sign of alien-ness in the campus. If it weren't for that ugly… _thing_ perched precariously on her head with its large wings in the same stance it had before they entered the dreaded building belonging to the four men, she would look simply _divine_. Divine with the strands of chocolate hair that escaped her buns, and were hanging with her bangs, divine with her long-sleeved, off shoulder white top and khaki capris, divine with the cute bracelet hanging out-of-place with her finger-less gloves. Neji suddenly woke up from his so-called daydream. _Cute?_ He thought angrily, and banging himself on the oak tree inwardly. _Hyuga Neji **does not use the word cute!** _He thought, slapping himself inwardly to wake himself. _Oh shut up, Neji, stop being so… icy, and just admit that you thought she was cute!_ One side of himself said to him in thought. _No, id didn't, I said **her bracelet **was cute. NOT **HER.** _His other side said, the one more like himself. _Yeah, but if the bracelet is already CUTE, what more with the owner?_ The nagging voice said, laughing at his blushing face. Neji was about to snap. _Shut up! Begone evil spirit!_ A chibi-thought Neji said, facing the other Neji and plastering a talisman on to the other Nejis' forehead. The other Neji sweatdropped, and a vein started pumping in chibi-Nejis' temple. **_Begone! Begone from my sane mind! _**(A/N: you call his running around earlier sane? Pft yeah right…) _**Begone!** _chibi Neji hollered, plastering more talismans on other Nejis' other parts of the body. When he was completely covered with talismans, exception of the eyes, nose and mouth of course, chibi Neji sank to the floor, and melted to a puddle of white, shinobi goo. Other Neji sighed, and removed the talismans with one swirl of his Kaiten.

_Neji, why won't you accept the fact that _other Neji started, and reached for a speaker **_YOU THINK SHE'S CUTE!_**

_I SHALL NOT ADMIT DEFEAT TO MY OWN THOUGHTS! _Chibi Neji said angrily from his puddle, bubbles bubbling on the surface, making other Neji twitch with disgust.

_**ADMIT IT! YOU THINK SHE'S CUTE!**_

_**NO I DON'T!**_

_**YES YOU DO!**_

_**NO I DON'T!**_

_**YEAH-UH!**_

_**NU-UH!**_

_**YEAH-UH!**_

_**NU-UH!**_

_**ADMIT IT FOR THE SAKE OF SANITY, AND FOR THE SAKE OF THE NEJITEN READERS!**_

_**HELL NO!**_

_**ADMIT IT, OR I'LL BOTHER YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR ALREADY-MISRABLE LIFE!**_

"**FINE! I LIKE TEN-TEN! I THINK SHE'S CUTE! SATISFIED?**" Neji said, hollering out his private thoughts, making it echo throughout the empty grounds, and making poor, innocent Ten-ten nearly fall out of her oak tree. Realizing what stupidity he just spluttered out, he looked at a blushing Ten-ten, and quickly recomposed himself by clearing his throat.

Dead silence.

Nothing moved, not even a cricket dared to chirp, and silence enveloped itself around the two who avoided each other's eyes, fearing that they'll give themselves away by blushing. Ten-ten finally found her voice, although it was strangely quivering, shaking and constricted.

"What… did you say-er… shout?" she whispered, more to herself than out loud. But of course, nothing escapes Nejis' ears. He caught every word, and he slowly looked into her brown eyes, which, unfortunately, weren't looking into his. He looked away uncomfortably, and leaned against the other oak tree, just beside Ten-tens'. As he looked at her eyes again, he caught it just in time as both eyes looked at his direction. Ten-ten gasped as she saw white, pearly orbs gazing at her own, making her mouth and throat dry.

Neji breathed heavily. He never could read what was behind those chocolate eyes. But at least he was thankful that no alien had arrived and disrupted the silence, because he liked it.

**

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Author's note:**

**Awww… THE DRAMA! BWAHAHAHAHAAAA! FINALLY! ONE ICE HEART MELTED, ONE MORE TO GO! But first, I shall initiate project shikaino! BWAHAHAHAAAAA! SO! Review answering time!**

**Princess Sakura Haruno: **okay lang yan kung isipin ng mga parents mo na sira ulo ka… ako napagisipan na rin nila ng ganun nung binasa ko ung fanfic na courage needs you. Ang ganda, basahin mo! Wla ako pake kung kakasaku yun, MAGANDA! LALO NA UNG CHAPTER THIRTEEN! BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!

**ToMoYo129: **Hehehe… magaling ako mag-spot ng mga pinay o pinoy dyan… basahin mo mga fanfics ni dark-adonis, kasi pinoy din yon! Eheheheheeee… anyways, sana mas nagandahan ka sa nejiten dito… dapat me shikaino, kaso sa next chappie na lang, wla na space! And, me magandang nejiten scene sa… I don't know… mga between chapter 10-15… basta! Bwahahahaaaa!

**The-Anime-Freak13: **oh, don't worry, lots of people lose track in this fanfic because of the craziness… here's the update by the way.

**Pyr0master: **Hehehe… am I good or what? Joke! Anyways, the sasusaku goodness is coming up! Expect a lot more of craziness soon… (insert evil laugh here)

**Demoneyes 14: **Hehehe… I hope you're still sane… here's the update, btw…

**TheGurlWithNoName: **like I said, lots of people get confused because of the craziness here. Don't worry, I'll try my best…

**NaruHina113: **(munches on cookies) hey, thanks! Can I have a glass of milk, too? XP anyhu, a lil bit of naruhina here, and some more to come on the chapter after the next, meaning chapter 10! Hehehe… thanks for the cookies again! How did you cook these?

**Kumii-chan: **like I said in my bio, your crush has a funny way of showing his affection for you…

**Sephynarutocloud: **thanks! Oh yeah, there'll be some romance here too, as shown in this chapter… thanks!

**lyaspot: **here's the update! Oh yeah, I thnk I've already made a review to that story? Sorry if I'm wrong… ehehehe…

**lunarangel: **(gives a slow wolf whistle) that's a long review! So good everything's cleared. And as a special treat, I'll be adding you as Kiba's 'one'… how 'bout that? I'll be putting you in the later chapters, though. So! Ino and Shikamaru will be playing their roles in the next chappie, and Naruto will appear with Hinata on the chapter after that! And then, finally, sasusaku! Oh yeah, about Kiba saying that, he meant that in a friendly way, 'cuz all of the guys have crushes on the four of them, but its just in a friendly way, okay? Remember, I'll be putting you here…

**Punksasuke: **thanks!

**SasuSakuforeva-iloveSasuke: **thanks! Yeah, patrick's so dumb, but he's cute anyways! And I used the narrator cuz I like the drawling voice… teeheehee… thanks!

**Wow, this has got to be the longest chapter I've ever made; a whopping twelve pages! (including reviews, of course) but the chapter itself was 10! Whahahahaa! Anyways, PLEASE ALSO READ MY OTHER FANFIC, 'KAY? I NEED IDEAS! AS IN DESPERATELY NEED THEM! THANKS!**

**Toodles,**

**Hikari-chan**


	9. inoshika operation, part I!

Disclaimer: 'I despise having to repeat the same thing all over again…' -Shino

**

* * *

Author's note:**

**TADAAAAA! THE NEXT CHAPTER! Wow, I'm ACTUALLY alive...**

**On with the fanfic!**

**

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CHAPTER IX: SWITCH! INOSHIKA OPERATION PART I!**

Silence. Dead silence.

No cricket, no snake, no whatever! Not even a fucking tumbleweed, damnit!

The two looked at each other, dazed, scared, their minds turned into a puddle of slimy, icky, goo.

Thanks to Nejis' hollering.

_Okay, recompose yourself, Hyuga!_ He thought. Pause. _HOW?_ His other sane self said. _I don't know, just do it!_

While they were trying to rack their brains for any way to get out of this very humiliating situation, their alien monsters, Kari and Ari, were looking at Neji and Ten-ten back and forth, wondering what had happened.

"What happened, Neji-san? Why did you shout?" Kari asked, looking down at his master.

"NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, ARI-CHAN! EVERYTHING IS HAPPY AND DANDY!" Neji said; pulling his little alien and patting it like a dog. Kari, Ten-tens' alien looked unconvinced.

"But I heard you! You shouted to the whole world (Neji cringed here) that you like Te-mmph!" poor little Kari had her mouth covered by her master, Ten-ten, who was blushing like there was no tomorrow.

"Shhhh! You didn't hear anything! Nothing!" Ten-ten said frantically, shaking her alien up and down. When Karis' mouth was uncovered… Yep, you guessed it.

She barfed.

And out came the cereal in a pile of yellow goo.

"Yuck…" Ten-ten said, and sighed. "Good thing I didn't have my hand in your mouth when you barfed."

"EIIIIWWW! THAT IS LIKE, SO DISGUSTING!" Neji said, standing on one foot and hugging the tree. Kari, Ari and Ten-ten sweatdropped.

"It's your fault, you know. You didn't want Ari to know that you shouted that you liked Te-mmmph!" Once again, Karis' mouth was clamped shut by her master.

The silence that had been born earlier settled once again between the two blushing idiots.

_Recompose! Recompose, Neji! Cool it! Yeah, cool it- IS THAT A SPIDER! _Neji blinked at the leaf. _Oh, just an ant- AN ANT! NO! RECOMPOSE! ANT! NO! ANT! NO! HAIR! OH MY God! A SPLIT END!_ Neji and Ten-ten blurted out at the same time.

"You didn't hear anything!" Neji spluttered.

"You didn't say anything!" Ten-ten screeched.

_Real smooth, Neji…_ he thought, inwardly slapping himself.

"RIGHT!" they said in unison. "IT'S A SECRET!"

* * *

That lunch…

"YOU WHAAAATTTT!"

Of course, the voice was Narutos', and guess what? HE WAS SCREAMING AT Neji! (GASP!) Didn't see that one comin', huh? (Readers: yeah right… Hikari: sarcasm is a foreign language for you guys, huh? Readers: GET ON WITH THE STORY!)

_So much for keeping it a secret…_ Neji thought. How had they found out? Well, Naruto was passing by a vacant table, on his way to the usual table under the beech tree, and there was Neji! (Gasp! Readers glare. Sorry, couldn't help it…) He had asked what was the matter with Neji, and Neji replied with a 'bother-me-and-you're-dead' glare. Shikamaru had noticed the two, and he came over. And guess what! He wanted to know why Neji was so gloomy! (Gasp! Readers clutch AK-47s' in their hands… ehehehe… couldn't help it…) Neji merely gave him a 'shut-up-before-I-poke-you-to-death' glare. Sasuke came over, and was about to ask why they weren't at the usual place. But Neji, thinking he was about to ask the same thing, had shouted the whole reason, every detail. Yes, even the split end issue. To this moment, he kept glancing at the end of his ponytail… anyhu; his attention was now drawn away from his perfectly healthy- looking hair, and was now focused at his so-called best friends. One was stuttering like an idiot –which reminded him STRONGLY of Hinata, another was yawning, and the last was smirking evilly. Not a pretty good sight.

"Geez, Naruto. Not so loud…" he muttered under his breath, as he saw the Uchihas' mouth open ever so slightly. Sasuke never spoke with his mouth wide open. Unless he was shouting at a certain blond dobe…

"God, I never thought you'd do anything as stupid as that, Neji. I thought better of you…" Sasuke said, his smirk widening. Neji tried his best not to roll his eyes in aggravation. Why? Simply because. Shikamaru yawned, and swirled the noodles of his carbonara lazily around his plate. He expertly twirled carbonara strands around his silver fork, and stuffed it into his yawning mouth.

"So nice to have supporting friends, huh?" Neji said sarcastically, thrusting his fork into a buffalo wing. Naruto shook his head and stuffed pesto in his mouth while Shikamaru snorted at Nejis' remark.

"What you want us to say? 'Good job with your idiocy, Neji! We are sooo proud of you!'" Shikamaru said in fake enthusiasm, complete with clasping hands, and a not-so-ecstatic pat on Nejis' back, making him, Neji, spit out his cola.

"No," he coughed, wiping his mouth with a handkerchief while Naruto burst into fistfuls of laughter and Sasuke snorted. "But a comforting 'That was pretty bad, wanna eat ice cream?' would've worked…" Neji continued, thrusting his fork, yet again, into his already mutilated buffalo wings, and taking a bite. Shikamaru again snorted.

"Puh-leeze, Neji. What do you think of us? GAY?" Shikamaru said, stuffing the last of his carbonara and pushing away the now empty plate.

"And I think you meant, 'that was pretty stupid of you, Neji. Want us to stuff ice cream in your face so that you'll realize what you did?' Neji." Sasuke said, taking a bite out of his Korean barbeque. Neji blushed. Either from embarrassment or the thought of Ten-ten or both, Sasuke couldn't tell. He merely snickered and stuffed a spoonful of yellow rice into his mouth. Shikamaru then turned to his haughtily chewing cousin.

"Ei, 'cuz. Can I ask a favor?" Shikamaru asked, twirling the ice in his glass with his straw. Sasuke looked skeptically at Shikamarus' direction. Shikamaru never asked favors. Okay, so he did, but he did it rarely.

"I guess-" he muttered, but Shika cut him off. "It's just about the alien capturing schedule. Nothing big."

"I guess… sure. What is it?" Sasuke asked, pushing away his empty plate and leaning back. They were now under the beech tree, and Sasuke was seated conveniently just in front of the beech tree's bark, so when he leaned back, he was rested comfortably on the wooden trunk. He closed his eyes sleepily as he waited for his cousins' reply.

"You're scheduled to capture aliens with Sakura later this afternoon, right?" he asked. Shikamaru smirked inwardly as he saw a tinge of pink slowly creep up Sasukes' pale cheeks. He opened one bleary eye.

"Yeah, so?"

"I wanted to switch today. I mean me and Ino will be capturing this afternoon, and you'll be capturing on the afternoon after the next." He said lazily. Sasuke smiled haughtily.

"Why? Gonna try your luck with Ino?" he teased, and then smirking triumphantly when he saw a tinge of pink appear on Shikamarus' placid face.

"No. We're gonna try our luck with a science project. The less time we capture, the more we can finish the damned project earlier. So stop it, 'cuz. I'm not in the mood." Sasuke merely shrugged. They may not be close, but Sasuke knew when and when not to tease Shikamaru. He rarely opens his mouth anyway, and they both have a pretty deep understanding.

"Sure."

* * *

At the other end of the lunch area, on the same time Naruto had hollered an ear-shattering 'What!' at Neji…

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHOO! OH YEAH! WHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAAA! AHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!"

Yes, it came from Sakura's table. She and Ino were sitting on top of a table, laughing their heads off with what Ten-ten had just mentioned.

Go figure.

Hinata was trying her best not to laugh, but she couldn't help but let out a few suppressed giggles.

Like I said, go figure.

Ten-ten blushed both from anger and humiliation at her three friends.

"Geez, guys. Not so loud…" she muttered under her breath. (A/N: hmmm… where have I heard that before…?) Ten-ten inwardly moaned in agony when she saw Sakura's lips form a smile. An evil, deceitful and haughty smile. Ooh, not too well…

"God, I never thought Neji'd do anything as stupid as that. I thought better of him…" Sakura said, her 'smile' widening. Hinata gave another set of silent chuckles. Ino grinned at Ten-ten and stuffed carbonara in her mouth. She chewed, a sinister smile on her face, and Ten-ten knew she was in trouble.

"SO nice to have supportive friends…" she muttered, thrusting her fork into her already mutilated buffalo wings.(A/n: whistle, whistle, whistle…) Hinata blushed and looked away, and Ino merely snorted.

"What you want us to say? 'Oh! You should've taken the chance and kissed him!'" Ino said in fake enthusiasm, complete with clasping hands, and a not-so-ecstatic pat on Ten-tens' back, making her, Ten-ten, spit out her cola.

"No," Ten-ten coughed, wiping her mouth with a handkerchief. "But a 'that was a really bad situation, want to have some ice cream?' would've worked…" Ten-ten continued, thrusting of what was left from her buffalo wings. (A/n: I swear I've read this before somewhere…) Ino snorted.

"Whatever… Neji-LOVER! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAA! OH MY God! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" Ino said, and she fell off the chair. Sakura snorted, and she looked over to where the 'chick catchers' were eating. She sweatdropped as she saw Neji continuously jabbing his buffalo wings- if it still looked like buffalo wings…- and she double sweatdropped as she saw that Ten-ten was jabbing _her _buffalo wings in the same fashion, at the same time.

_If they weren't jabbing Buffalo wings, it'd be really cute and romantic… them doing the same thing…_ Sakura thought, shaking her pink head. Ino climbed back on her chair, giggles and deep breaths coming from her mouth. A few blades of grass had stuck to her violet top, and her hair was strewn haphazardly with a combination of dried leaves, dirt and a few bugs. As she looked at Sakura, a sudden thought entered her blond head.

"Oh, yeah, Sakura? Can I ask for a favor?" she asked. Sakura turned to look at Ino.

_She doesn't look evil… hmm… I think she's pretty serious…_ she shrugged and nodded her head.

"I was wondering if we could switch alien capturing today. Shika-baka and me have some dissecting thingy for biology. Talk about a fun way to spend the weekend…" she mumbled irritably, then, said, "…I was planning on buying that new blouse…" Sakura sweatdropped.

"Fine, just make sure you get a high grade, or I'll feed you to my alien." She threatened. Ino chuckled.

"Oh, c'mon, Sakura! Capturing aliens! How hard could that be?"

Oh, how wrong Ino was…

**

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Cute (no lies! ;) Author's note:**

**Okay, this isn't really very funny, but the next chappie will be! I sweaaar! This is just a cliffie intro (I'm SO evil) and I was having second thoughts about putting a sneak peek, but then, the story wouldn't be interesting, would it? (Insert abnormally evil laugh here)**

**Review answers!**

**TheGurlWithNoName: hehehehe… read my profile, and continue supporting the story, you'll find out my opinion. Oh, read my other Naruto fanfic as well, okay? Winter blossoms. Thanx! Oh, and for the 2nd review, hehehehe… ang galing ko no?**

**Someone: hehehe… you soon will. There's gonna be some drama here, (as I explained in the earlier chappies, right? Or was it my profile? Just check both to be sure… ;) and some SERIOUS romance, but that's gonna be on the later chapters. I won't say more lest I spoil it for you… **

**KarmaDreamz: hehe, thanks!**

**Hell Knight 27: here's the continuation! Let's see that happy smile! (Swtdrp…) anyhu, thanks!**

**Dark-adonis: sowee, the best for last, ok? C Ino at Shika next. After that, prang prologue, ung gani2 dn, prang aftermath nung… thing… tpos gnun din kena hina at naru. Dun ke saku at sasu, dun mag-eenter ang SERIOUS DRAMA. As in. papatayin mo ako cguro dun, pero ang good thing, MALAYO AKO SA INYO! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Anyhu, mlapit n k dun s mindoro thing! Yay! Sa aug. 5-7 un, kya hnd ako mkkupdate during that time. Mghhntay uli kau.. hehehe. Ang pasalubong mo? INVISIBLE NATIVE MINDORO…(dan-dan-daaan!) ANT! Hehehe… ung itim pra d k kgatn… WAIT! TISHA ANG PANGALAN MO!**

**Sparkling-Ruby Gem: wait, you're a pinay? Let me guess, you're living abroad, right? Anyhu, here's the update!**

**Kumii-cHan: YAY! I GET TO SEE TOMORROW! YAAAAY! (onlookers sweatdrop) anyhu, I haven't, and maybe I won't be able to, cause I'm kinda busy… thanks though, for informing me.**

**AddictiveJon: (grabs huge eraser and erases bazooka) anything can happen in my story, baby! Bwahahhhahahaaaaa! Anyhu, here's the chapter. The craziness is in the next chap.**

**Sephynarutocloud: here you go! P.S., I'm not an idiot, I'M A MORON! GET IT RIGHT, DAMN IT! ;)**

**Purerandomness: well, it's different here in the Philippines. School starts on June (not on August) and ends in april (or march if we're lucky). But something IS same with your school and ours- the periodical exams are deadly enough to kill… AAAAAAAAAAHHH! PAPER CUT! NOOOO!**

**Silver Kitsune6921: I get it from this little thing called my insanity. ;)**

**Twilight16: hehehehe… I won the insanity award 8 years in a row already… **

**COZIN: MANGARAP KA! Ino FIRST BEFORE YOU! BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Anyhu, SAY HELLO TO PHILIP for me!**

**Lunarangel: ah, Luna! You forgot to include another reason why you shouldn't kill me- you're gonna be in this story as well! Starring as the only girl who loved Kiba! Joke, I love him too, but in a brotherly, doggie-like way. ;)**

**Robbin13: ah, spiderman! I owe you everthing! Well, not everything, just gratitude for the story thing… anyhu, thanks!**

**Inudemonlover: thanks for the therapist advise, but my therapists always end up going insane because of me, so the therapist thingy doesn't work anymore… **

**Angelgur079: YOU ARE AN ANGEL! YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T WANT TO KILL ME! Joke. Thanks, by the way.**

**Lexy499: Fear it. Love it.**

**Kunoichi Protection Activation: thanks!**

**that's all! love you guys!**

**hikari's angel**


	10. inoshika operation, part II! at last!

**Disclaimer: "I despise having to repeat the same thing over again" –Shino**

**Author's note (PLEASE READ FIRST):**

**(A door opens. Author sticks out her head.) ME (whispering): is the coast cl- READERS: THERE SHE IS!! GET HER!! (Knives, blades, kunais, shurikens, ballpens, pencils and every other sharp object you could think of was thrown towards the door. Whew, I survived…) ME: WAIT! WAIT, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF- **

**READERS: wait? WAIT? WAAAIIIT?!?!?!? WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR ALMOST ONE YEAR!! WHY THE HECK SHOULD WE WAIT SOME MORE?! **

**ME: because, since you are all under the power of this fanfic, I have the power to do… this. (Turns everyone into snails) **

**READER # 29384729847: oh crap… she's right. **

**READER # 23984790378172: this is way uncool… if my girlfriend finds out I was- **

**READER # 23984790378173: sweetie, I'm over here. **

**READER # 23984790378172: oh. (Blinks his snail eyes and makes loving snail noises… is there such a thing?) …Wait, you're not my girlfriend… **

**READER # 239847093875894575: HOW THE HECK SHOULD YOU KNOW?! EVERYONE LOOKS THE SAME!! **

**ME: alright, guys, don't you wanna know why I left my fanfic to collect dust after all this time? (Cricket noises) oookkaaayyy, you don't. But I'll tell it anyway. Simple: we had a lot going on, this dumb family problem landed on us, I got a –believe it or NOT– A FULL 5 MONTHS' worth of writer's block, became a crazed fan of shaman king… STILL AM a crazed fan of shaman king… (Go Ren!) Our computer's hard drive went berserk, dad replaced it with a new hard drive, searched for the old hard drive containing this document, found the hard drive in a computer shop, found this document, downloaded it to a diskette, inserted the diskette to the computer, the crappy piece of fucking diskette shit was broken, had to go BACK to the computer shop to paste the document in my email under 'drafts', went home, tried to copy the document in our computer, sent the document to my own email address, copied the document on to windows word, put the ending, and downloaded it to fanfiction, where my readers are now reading this author's note instead of skipping off to the story! **

**Readers: …**

**ME: well?**

**READERS: JUST GET ON WITH THE FREAKIN' STORY!**

**ME: oh, right, well, here it is… enjoy…**

**Anyway, enjoy the story!**

**

* * *

CHAPTER X: SHIT! (Shikaino operation PART II!)**

_DDDRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGG…_

The bell signaled for the end of the school day. Students rushed out hurriedly to their houses, or, for the case of some girls, the nearest mall. When Gerty passed Ino, Ino smiled with satisfaction at her, and dusted off a clod of invisible dust from her new, lavender skirt. Gerty growled angrily, and with a smug 'hmph!' she led her dog- uhm, _friends_, out into the afternoon sun. Ino turned around and smiled as she saw her best friends walking towards her, aliens in head, bags on shoulders, and smiles on faces. The aliens were currently chatting about their masters and were very noisy, so Sakura, Hinata and Ten-ten stuffed each mouth with a handful of coco puffs – the all-time alien quieter.

"Do you want us to wait for you?" Sakura asked as she put her books into her locker on the other side, opposite Ino.

"Yeah, to help you out with the alien hunting." Hinata said quietly, a sincere smile on her porcelain face. Ten-ten chuckled.

"You mean to save Shikamaru from Ino's wrath if she goes on rampage… hehehehe-OUCH!" Ten-ten groaned as a book flew her way and hit her head. "HEY! WHO THREW THAT?!" she asked angrily.

"Wasn't me…" Ino said quietly, whistling and looking at the other direction. Ten-ten narrowed her eyes at Ino and stared at the book that hit her.

"1001 ways to snag that hottie…" Ten-ten read quietly. Gotcha. She looked into her locker and found the perfect book. She grinned, and threw it on top of Ino's head. While _trying _to be as conspicuous as possible. This wasn't that effective, seeing as everyone on the hallway except Ino saw her.

"Ouch!" Ino moaned, rubbing the sore bump on her blonde head.

"Whistle, whistle, whistle…" Ten-ten said, looking away.

"Ten-ten, did you just SAY 'whistle, whistle, whistle'?!" Sakura said. Ten-ten sweatdropped and started organizing her already neat and organized locker.

"1002 ways to voodoo the person who threw that nasty book at you." Ino read. A sudden dark, evil aura or presence started looming over the three of them, enveloping them in a sea of sick smoke…

"TEN-TEN, DID YOU JUST **FART**?!" Sakura shrieked. Ten-ten double sweatdropped and did the whole, cool, macho thing.

She said this:

"…"

Ino stared at the book in her hand and her eyes traveled over to the brown-haired teen who was now silently chuckling to herself evilly.

"heeheeheeheeheeheehee…" she cackled silently

"u-uhm… Ten-ten-san??" Hinata asked quietly, her soft, dull silver eyes looking like small saucers. Ten-ten's persistent evil cackling continued, this time, louder.

"HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI!!!!!!!!!!!"

"…Ten-ten…" Sakura whispered, sweatdropping as people started staring their way, raising suspicious eyebrows. "…Ten-ten, for the love of God, shut up…"

"**HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIH **(a month later…) **HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIIIIIIIII!**" she finished, and then let out a woosh of air. "Whew, was that a good laugh…" she said happily. She then looked around to find that her friends were turned into stone statues, complete with pigeons and pigeon poop all over them, their eyes "O.o". Other than that, a large crowd composed of almost, no, ALL of the students in Konoha High (minus the chick-catchers, that is, and a few… I mean, a LOT of their fan girls) were all staring at her and her 'stone-cold' friends. She glared at them.

"**WANT KUNAIS UP YOURS?!**" she shouted angrily. At this, her stone friends turned into metal, and everyone left.

Ino gulped.

"Uh… hey, Ten-ten, wanna grab a bite tomorrow? My treat…?" she said in a VERY tiny voice.

"…sure…" Ten-ten mumbled. Her eyes becoming red and beady. Sweat beads started falling from Ino's head.

"Phew…" Ino said, wiping her head with a handkerchief.

"What did you say?" Ten-ten asked, her eyes glaring. Ino's eyes twitched.

"Uh… uhm… no-nothing! Absolutely nothing!!"

"Good." Ten-ten whispered menacingly.

Sakura and Hinata cowered behind Ino, who was shaking as if they were in front of Satan himself.

Sakura grabbed her backpack and re-tied her shoelaces. She looked at Ino.

"Don't worry, it's just for a day," she reassured Ino, smiling at her.

"One irritatingly idiotic day…" Ino mumbled, leaning on her locker and crossing her arms. Sakura and Hinata laughed. Ten-ten finally chuckled, almost normal.

"We'll treat you tomorrow to that blouse you wanted. Does that lift up your lonely spirit?" Sakura asked. Ino grinned at her.

"What lonely spirit?" Ino asked. They all chuckled.

"Okay, gotta go. Got me some aliens to disintegrate!" Ino said, grabbing a laser bazooka from her locker. She put on shades and said in her deepest and most manly voice (that sounded uncannily like Arnold Schwarzenegger's):

"Astalavista aliens…" Sakura and the others started sweating like crazy… scary Ino…

"Okay then, bye guys!" Ino said cheerfully, waving at her best friends. Sakura sweatdropped as she walked out of the building. '_And I thought I had major mood swings…'_ she thought, sighing.

"No, really, guys! **WHAT LONELY SPIRIT?!**" Ino called after them. The three of them sweatdropped. As they walked towards the gate, a guy with pineapple-like hair came into view.

"Shikamaru!" Sakura called.

Ino looked at Konni, her pet alien. She was currently snoring in her locker, spreading alien saliva over her C- test papers. _'Wait a minute? WAS THAT AN F?!'_ Ino stared unblinkingly at the test paper. She leaned over to get a better look. Oh, it was just alien saliva over THE ONLY "A" she ever got. She gently tapped little Konni on the head. The alien blinked, and stretched its wings AT ITS BREAKING POINT, meaning all 23 lockers on either side of Ino's locker was destroyed. So, that means, 47 lockers were in locker heaven. Do the math… it included Ino's locker as well. Ino gaped at the rubble and metal spread on the school's flooring.

'_Oh boy… the janitor's gonna have a fit…'_ Ino thought. She looked back at her alien who merely blinked, then stared at the giant mess as if all of it were spelling out in big bold letters: **THIS WAS MADE DUE TO THE IDIOCY OF YAMANAKA INO AND HER ALIEN WHATSITSNAME**. Ino blinked. _'No; scratch that. The janitor's gonna have a seizure, a heart attack, and then go straight on to coma…'_ Suddenly, from across the hall…

"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!"

Ino looked around and gasped. (Activate thriller sound effects) the shiny 'you-can-see-your-face' shoes… the neatly combed hair (_'At least… what's LEFT of his hair…' _Ino thought.) … The super-ironed uniform, so straight the body itself was rigid… the spotless I.D. and the most dreaded weapon of all: the white mop.

It could only be… (Louder thriller sound effects. Woman shrieking)

"T-the j-janitor…" Ino whispered.

"IT'S CLEANING MAN! NOT JANITOR!" the janitor hollered angrily, spit flying everywhere. It was like being sprayed with a fresh scented mist…

Eiw…

"Weeelll, well, well… lookie what we have here…" The Janitor continued in his western accent. Ino gulped. Konni flew out of Ino's locker, and nestled itself neatly on top of Ino's shiny blond head, unaware of the saliva-drooling, fang-bearing, not to mention Gollum-looking man in front of Ino.

"Weelll?" the janitor asked.

"Uhm… well, you see…" she replied, chuckling nervously.

"It was an accident. Duh." Said a bored voice. The janitor looked up. Ino turned her head around, her hair flying off for effect. _'There's a new savior!'_ she thought, _'and he's going to be handsome, and gorgeous, with his muscles tightly etched on his white t-shirt…'_ She could see it now… his fist would knock out the evil janitor-man, and she would be safe in his strong manly arms… Ino blinked.

Oh my-

Ino's eyes widened. _Thank God no one has the ability to read thoughts…_ she thought, for there in the hallway was her so-called savior…

Shikamaru.

Yep.

Deer-man.

Suddenly, a guy in a suit entered the hallway, his cameramen around him with their very own –gasp! What's this?!– cameras!! (Didn't see that one coming…)He faced one camera up-close, and gave a LARGE and not to mention very white-toothed smile. A mob of people came afterwards, bringing their own seats. One man with silver-white hair had a beard that reached the floor wearing magnificent midnight-blue robes and sporting a pointy wizard's hat _conjured _a squishy chintz armchair _out of nowhere_. Hmm… familiar scene…

"YES! Hello, ladies, gentlemen, janitors-"

"IT'S CLEANING MAN, DAMNIT!"

"Uh… right." The guy said lazily, and turned to face the camera with his big smile. "Hello again, ladies and gentlemen (he avoided the janitor), I am your host, Rob – Bob's brother, and welcome to… THE INTERFERING SHOW!" claps and cheers from the audience. He winked at the audience and a woman swooned and fainted.

"Ehem. Today, we will be featuring a battle between two challengers- Mop-man and deer-man!!" the audience cheered behind him. Then someone said…

"I LOVE YOU MOP-MAN!!!"

The janitor suddenly turned his back to the audience and started blushing and shyly straightening his already starched-too-much pants.

"Aw… shucks, don't **DO** that!" he squealed in a disturbingly girl voice (the kind that makes guys knees go weak) and tucking a strand of white hair behind his ear. '_Oh, barf…_' Shikamaru thought. '_I mean… the voice… and HIS face?! Oh, GOD, I need a barf bag…_' he made a slight retching sound, but held it in. He looked at the wrinkled, oily, pimpled, and dark-spotted face with a few hairs on it, and Shikamaru laid Ino gently on the nearest chair and barfed in the boys' comfort room. He returned three seconds later, spritzing his mouth with a whole can of mint spray, and cradling Ino's body once more.

Rob looked at the crowd and blinked. He turned back to the cameras and flashed his reporter-like smile. "Uh… okay! For the prize, the winner will get one comatosed Yamanaka Ino, and another prize of his choice! A stuffed deer or a new white mop! And that's not all! We will also include one specially designed scientific, mathematic, exquisite, exotic, prehistoric, extinct, super-riffic, atomic, special-riffic, cutatomic (pronounce it as cute-tatomic), beautifulific, ultrasonic, radiatic, invisible… (Drum roll) ANT!" the audience 'ooohed'. Shikamaru sweatdropped while mop- I mean the jani- uh… I mean THE CLEANING MAN drooled in front of the shiny, oak-handled mop. Shikamaru sighed. He stared at Ino who was lying on the ground, twitching, and drool flowing from her mouth like a waterfall. Konni was asleep… yet again.

"Alright, everyone, places on the battlefield…" Rob said.

"This is a pretty crummy battlefield." Shikamaru muttered.

"Make-up!"

"Do we need make-up when we fight?"

"Where's the blush-on?!"

"I'm allergic to that stuff."

"Eyeliner please."

"What do I look like? A GIRL?"

"The pink bra's missing from Shikamaru's wardrobe!"

"DAMMIT, I'M MALE!"

"Will someone bring me a tootsie roll?"

"A WHAT?"

"Alright, lights… camera… action!"

"Isn't the whole point of fighting, fighting without scripts?" Shikamaru asked quietly.

"I LOST MY CONDOM!!"

Silence echoed in the hallway, and everyone turned to look at where the voice came from. It wasn't hard to find really; the person was standing up.

"Sasuke?"

"Oh, hey Shikamaru."

"Dude… do you have any idea about what you said?"

"Uh, yeah. I said I lost my condom. Did you see it?"

"Fuck, dude, do you KNOW what you're saying?!" Shikamaru said angrily. Sasuke glowered at him.

"Fine, grammar boy, HAVE you seen it?" Sasuke said.

"OUT, SASUKE! YOU DON'T HAVE A FRICKIN' CONDOM!! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE ONE!!" Shikamaru shouted.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU KNOW!" Sasuke said, emo-tears falling from his eyes. "What makes you so sure I can't?! as if you do!"

"OF COURSE I DO!"

Silence. Silence. Silence. The whole crowed looked at Shikamaru who wasn't even blushing. Even Ino suddenly woke up from comatose and stared at him, her cheeks slightly, no, VERY pink. Shika sighed.

"IQ of 200??" Shika asked. "Ring any bells??"

Silence. Silence. Silence.

"I'm not a virgin." Shikamaru said flatly, a tone full of sarcasm, that, obviously, no one noticed.

Everyone else sighed and started talking to themselves.

"Oh, okay."

"WHEW! I thought he did something like… y'know… buy it and READ THE INSTRUCTIONS!"

"It's a good thing he just had sex… I thought it was something serious or whatever…"

Shika's eyes went O.o

"Oh, good! I thought it was something else…" Sasuke said, coming down from the audience and clapping Shika on the back.

"Like WHAT?!" Shikamaru said his eyes O.O and his voice tight, high-pitched and exasperated.

"Like the other guy said… y'know… buying it and…" Sasuke shuddered. "READING the instructions…"

O.o; O.o; O.o

"Bye, 'cuz…"

X.x; X.x; X.x

"Coffee break!"

"We haven't even started…" Shika muttered.

"Okay, lights! Camera! ACTION!!!"

"**AGAIN: isn't the whole point of fighting, fighting without scripts?!?!?!**"

"THAT'S IT!!" Rob shouted. Shikamaru looked lazily at him.

"What's your problem?"

"YOU! WHY DO ACTORS HAVE TO BE SO IRRITATING?!" he shouted. Shikamaru sweatdropped.

"First of all, I'm not an actor, I'm a ninja. Second of all, **YOU'RE** more irritating than I am."

"How DARE you!" Rob gasped dramatically. The audience behind him glared at deer- oops I mean Shikamaru.

"I'm sooo dared…" Shikamaru said lazily.

"ALWAYS SAYING, 'I WANT THIS, I WANT THAT-' WHY CAN'T ACTORS BE MORE SATISFIED WITH WHAT THEY WANT?!"

"I don't want–" Shikamaru started, but Rob cut him off.

"SEE?! SEE WHAT I MEAN?! HE'S EEVILL I TELL YOU!!! HE'S EEEEEEEEVVV-" Rob's eyes widened in shock as a red jet of light hit him squarely behind the back. He fell unto the floor, and started… well… he started making his 'dying' speech.

"I… see… white light (cough, cough)…" Rob said dramatically. The woman he winked at earlier had just gotten up from her faint, and, seeing Rob's 'dying' body, she fainted yet again. "…oh… cruel… world… (Cough, cough) why… do the good ones… always… have to be… the first (cough) to go? (Cough)" he lay back on the ground, and stuck his tongue out at the side. Shikamaru sweatdropped. He looked up to find the old man sitting on the chintz chair happily chuckling to him. Shikamaru went closer, carrying Ino, and faced the old man.

"Dude…" Shikamaru started. He twitched when he saw that the man was eating what seemed to be a _moving _frog. A _moving, chocolate frog._

"Ah… yes?" the old man replied, peering at him from his half-moon spectacles on his doubly crooked nose, and swallowing a twitching frog's right leg. He burped. "Oh, excuse me…" he said politely.

"What's your name?" Shikamaru asked, watching the man get a small, pentagon-shaped cardboard box, and pulling out a card. He chuckled, put the card in a small card pile on his right side, and took out, yet again, another moving chocolate frog. The old man bit the head and chewed happily in satisfaction. Shikamaru twitched, yet again.

"Ah… it is a very long name," the old man said, now reaching for what looked like a bottle filled with blood red wine.

"I don't mind…" Shikamaru muttered, watching the man drain the glass. The man gave another burp, and another timid, "Excuse me… again…"

"Albus. Albus Dumbledore."

"That wasn't a very long name…"

"Ah, ('_this guy likes to say the word 'ah' all the time…'_ Shikamaru thought to himself) you see, my real name is Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore."

Shikamaru let out a long, low, wolf whistle. He stared at Rob, who was still lying unconscious on the floor.

"As much as I think you did the greatest thing on earth…" Shikamaru started.

"Ah… (Shikamaru sweatdropped) Thank you…" Albus Dumbledore said.

"Well, I can't help but think that you should move him to another place or something…"

"Ah… (Shikamaru sweatdropped yet again) that is fairly easy…" he pulled out a long, thin, wooden wand and gave it a swish and a flick. Dumbledore muttered, "_Locomotor idiot man"_ and Rob's unconscious body floated for a few inches. Dumbledore swished his wand to the left, pointing to the window (BTW, people, they were on the 10th floor…) and, yep, rob flew out the window. Buh-bye! Shikamaru chuckled, and then looked at the time.

"OH MY GOD!!!" he shouted, and brought his hands up to his cheeks, and, in the process of doing so, dropped Ino.

"OUCH! Shika-BAKA!" Ino took her laser bazooka and blasted Shikamaru to nothingness.

"MWAHAHAHHAHAHAAAA!!! I'M EEEEVIIILL I TELL YOU!!!!!!! EEEVVVIIILLLLLLLLL!!!!" she laughed maniacally. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (drinks a glass of water) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH (after 5 days) AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!" Ino laughed triumphantly. She turned around. Shikamaru was making tea.

"You done?"

Ino gaped at him.

"I'll take that as a yes…" he muttered. "C'mon, let's catch some dumb aliens."

"Sure!" Ino said, adjusting Konni on her blonde head. Konni flapped excitedly. "That's a cinch!"

Narrator of Spongebob Squarepants: two hours later…

"**I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMOOOORRREEE!!!!!**"

Guess whose voice said that…

"Calm down, just a few more… sheesh, what a baby…"

If you guessed it came from a certain blond named Yamanaka Ino…

You were WRONG.

DEAD wrong.

"Shikamaru…"

"I Can't TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!! I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS LONG AWAY FROM MY BELOVED STUFFED DEERS! WHO'S GONNA TAKE CARE OF NIKI-CHAN? WHO'S FEEDING SHIKINO-KUN? WHO'S PUTTING MARU-NARU-SAN TO SLEEP? WHO? **WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?!??!?!**"

"Shikamaru… it's okay. We're done."

"Ah, thank goodness…"

"Sure. You go home." Ino said uncaringly, grabbing a slime-stained Konni who was happily chatting how fun alien catching was. Shikamaru looked at Ino.

"What about you?"

"I'm gonna take a bath here, in one of the school showers. Duh!" Ino told him, rolling her eyes. "Do you expect me to do my night shopping this filthy? Uh, I DON'T THINK SO!!" she chuckled good-naturedly and smiled at Shikamaru.

Shikamaru's black eyes looked at Ino's cerulean ones. Everything disappeared; everything vanished. It was like there was suddenly some understanding between them, and all thoughts were put away. They only came back to earth when Konni screamed.

"I WANT COCO PUFFSSSS!!!!!!!!!!"

"Okay, you little monster, but AFTER our hot bath…" Ino said motherly, and taking off Konni from her head. They were giggling happily to the bathroom when Shikamaru spoke up.

"Can… can I wait?"

Silence filled the whole school. (Readers sweatdrop. Author: Well, duh! They were the only ones left there, and they weren't talking and stuff…) Ino's eyes widened, and she nearly dropped Konni. She didn't dare turn around to face Shikamaru, because she felt her face burn a bright red. Shikamaru seemed reluctant to face Ino either. He made to stare at his shoelaces… at least he didn't have to feel embarrassed when he stared at the white strings of cloth…

"For… what?"

"…"

No one dared to speak. Then…

"…You…"

Every muscle in Ino's body seemed immobile. Her knees were shaking violently, and her eyes widened a bit more. Konni looked at Ino, and broke the silence by saying…

"Ino?"

"…"

"Are you having a… seizure?"

Ino wanted to kiss Konni because of her idiocy. But she couldn't DARE give herself away, not with Shikamaru there. So she took to hitting Konni on the head instead.

"Ouch!"

"A seizure?!" Ino fake-growled angrily. "NO MORE COCO PUFFS FOR YOU!!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"Ino…"

Ino shut up. "Yeah…?"

"So… can –should I wait for you?" Shikamaru muttered, turning around so that he could lift his head without looking at Ino. His neck was aching from all that time looking at the ground. He inwardly hit his head when he heard running footsteps away from him, echoing around the school. He was so lame…

"Sure."

The voice was an echo and quite faded that he thought that it was a figment of his imagination. He turned around, and saw a completely different-looking Ino. Sure, her hair was still tied in a high ponytail on her head, but… he saw her smile.

It was completely genuine, no smirk mixed in whatsoever.

"Sorry?"

"Are you deaf? I said sure…" Ino said, turning around immediately, and ran around the corner towards the bathrooms.

Shikamaru almost kissed his alien guardian, Kaski.

Sakura was sitting on her bed, combing her hair, and staring at the top of their school visible through the wide-glass doors leading to her balcony. Their daily night-shopping was due in an hour or so… Ino should be taking a bath or something by now. She had half a thought to go there, and check up on them. But Ino told them to wait for her in the Twilight Café at the mall. _'Oh well,'_ she thought, giggling happily to herself and walking away towards the mirror to put lip gloss. _'Shika's with her, she'll be safe.'_

Ino sunk in, deeper into the warm water. Bubbles were on the surface. She let out a relaxing sigh. It was nice to have a bath after a hard day of capturing mutated aliens.

"Ooohhh…" Konni said, flapping her wings. "This feels really nice…"

"Told you you'd like it…" Ino muttered, smiling. Everything was silent except for the gentle swish of the water at Konni played with the bubbles using her wings. Ino closed her eyes and thought about what happened fifteen minutes ago.

Shika had asked to stay behind. Yet he heard him talking to his friends that he's supposed to go back to their condominium as early as possible after alien-hunting. Ino leaned back and swirled water with her finger. '_what's the catch?_' she thought. '_Shika's not even the TYPE to make crappy catches like that. That's Sasuke's line of expertise…_' she yawned. '_So what's going on?_'

**CRASH!!!!!**

Ino shrieked.

Several yards away, Shikamaru had just finished his quick shower and had already dressed when he heard the crash and Ino's shriek.

"INO!" he yelled. He ran as fast as his legs would allow him, darting through corridors, and finally reaching the girls' bathroom. He didn't even think of anything else. There was just a mantra going around his head: _Ino… crash… danger… Ino… crash… danger…_ it wouldn't stop. He grabbed the handle, and pushed the door open, with a VERY tiny voice screaming something along the lines of 'TABOO!' and '…I know there's something I need to do first…'

He stopped dead in his tracks, staring ahead of him, his pale cheeks slowly turning pink, and then, dark red.

Ino was halfway out of the tub, with a towel clutched in front of her, the rest of the towel almost JUST covering her. It wasn't wrapped around; rather, it was just held in front of her. her eyes and cheeks were in the same state as Shika's.

They stood staring at each other, eyes wide open, cheeks burning a hot red, their aliens looking pointedly away, and the bowl of coco puffs scattered on the floor.

It was Ino who recovered her voice first.

"**KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!**"

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**So ends another chapter! I hope this one makes up for the really long time you guys had to wait for… I'm not expecting it to make up for the whole 1+ year, but, at least… I hope it SLIGHTLY makes up for it. I'll do better in the next chappie, which will be about what happened next, the mall shopping (maybe) and school the next day. Plus, I think I'll squeeze in a lil naruhina which will be the next guys who'll start alien hunting. Keep in mind that the pairings' alien catching and romance thingies will take 2 chapters each. After naruhina, the aftermath, then, the much awaited sasusaku. After that, another aftermath, in which I will probably squeeze in the much needed info you guys have been clamoring about the aliens.**

**That's all!! **

**Much love,**

**Kana28**

**P.S. this was a full 14 page on the Microsoft word, and THAT'S with the margins extended!! basically it's because of all the double spacing and the authors' note, but, well, I'm very proud of myself! I think it's my longest so far!! **


	11. Yellow Cab Pizzas and Heads

Author's Note:

**Author's Note:**

**(Puts up invisible shield that turns anything into slugs if they touch the shield. Angry mob of cliff-hung readers wait outside, clicking their tongues and tapping their feet)**

**Okay. Now that I'm temporarily safe, I would like to express my lame apologies once more, for taking so long. Exactly 'WHY have I been taking dinosaur years to complete an effing chapter?', you ask? Well, the reason is quite simple, actually:**

**We don't have our own computer anymore.**

**Okay, that's wrong. The reason why is because, yes, we have a computer in our house, but it doesn't have an internet connection anymore, so I have to go to the internet shop and download the chapters, etc.**

**Another problem is, I'm currently studying in UP Baguio, which is 6-8 hours away from the city of Manila, where I live. I don't have a laptop to type my fics with (the ballpen is to slow to write down all my thoughts) so, there. I'm going to warn you guys that updating my fics would take a pretty long time, and I'm kind of getting tired of squeezing my brain for scenarios. The fire's dying out. So if you WANT me to finish it, you should demand of me (although not that much, please… :D) and rekindle the flames of inspiration. In short, review. Hihi. Tell me your ideas, insights, comments, anything. They would greatly help. Also if you see any misspelled words or wrong grammar. I have this habit of not re-checking my work after I've finished with it. :D**

**Oh, and one more plea, please. For those who are members of , could you please, please, pretty please download me some manga? I can't find time to do so anymore (what with papers, long exams, and fic writing), so… could you please download it on your computer and send it to me at my email? PM me if you're willing to, and I'll give you my email address. Please, please, please?? I'm like… desperate. It'll help with the fic, too. I swear it will. The last manga about Naruto that I've read is the one where Sasori (faint!!)'s grandma gave her life to Gaara and Gaara woke up with 99.9 of his village around him. That's it. I'm desperate… T.T**

**Alright then. On with the much-awaited chapter.**

**Disclaimer: "I don't like repeating myself" – Shino**

* * *

**CHAPTER 11: YELLOW CAB PIZZAS AND HEADS  
**

Shikamaru's brain went blank.

Yup. 200 worth of IQ went down the drain! He could hear the toilet in his brain flushing. Gurgle, gurgle, glug, glug…

He couldn't hear, he couldn't talk, and for some reason, his knees had turned to either overcooked spaghetti or jelly. He was just… there, staring ahead at the most… unbelievable sight in front of him.

Ino was standing at the bath tub, her face blushing like there was no tomorrow, wearing NOTHING.

Okay, exaggeration. She was holding a white towel, which JUST covered her front.

Oh, yeah. She was screaming as well, as if all hell broke loose. But as mentioned earlier, Shikamaru had gone brain-dead and he couldn't hear anymore. All he could do was look. No, STARE. No, **NO!** **Ogle**. He ogled at Ino as if he had seen her for the first time in his entire life. Well, half true, this WAS the first time he had seen her half-naked…

"**SHIKAMARU, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE BATHROOM!!**" Ino yelled. When Shikamaru didn't respond, Ino took the nearest object – the SINK - and threw it towards Shikamaru. It hit its target with a satisfying (and pretty loud, too) CLONK!

The toilet in Shikamaru's head which was busy draining all his 200 worth of IQ slowly backed up and spilled out, and therefore, making Shikamaru regain his intelligence. As soon as he did, he was able to dodge the second thing Ino threw, which was the TOILET. He felt the bump on his head throb irritatingly and remembered that the sink had hit him a while ago. The pain sinked in. (hahaha! Get it? SINKed in? Hahaha! Haha! Haaa…. Whatever.)

"Ouch, Ino!" Shikamaru said.

"**GET OUT YOU FUCKING PERVERT! OUT! OUT! OOOUUUUUTTTTT!!**" Ino yelled crazily, throwing everything she could towards him. It was just then that Shikamaru remembered what had happened, and he rushed quickly out of the room, his face redder than a fully-ripe tomato. He didn't just ran, he _scampered _away, just like a deer. No, he was NOT skipping on four legs.

When he was a good 50 feet away from the bathroom, he was able to clear his head, and go back to what had happened er… a lifetime ago.

'_Let's see…_' Shikamaru thought, doing his famous thinking pose. '_Uhm… stupid mission was assigned to me and Ino… the janitor –'_

"**IT'S CLEANING MAN, YOU IDIOTIC PERV!!**" A voice screamed from the deep, dark shadows. Shikamaru's eyes went O.o. What was the fucking janitor–?

"**I SAID, IT'S CLEANING MAN, DAMN IT! DO YOU NOT COMPREHEND?!**"

FINE, then. Going back to MY fanfic and Shika's thoughts, what was the fucking CLEANING MAN doing in Shikamaru's thoughts?! He stared around him and thought again.

'_Jaaaani-_'

The ja- ergh… CLEANING MAN appeared beside Shikamaru and roared.

"**I. SAID. THAT. IT'S. CLEEEEAAAANNNNNIIIIINGGGGG MAAAAAAAAANNNNN!!**" he roared, blasting Shikamaru's eardrums into itty bitty bite-sized pieces—

"That comes in original peanut butter earwax flavor!" a commercial narrator said. "But wait! There's more! Shika's Surprise also has eardrums in strawberry shortcake flavor, honeybunch sugarplum pumpywumpy-umpkin flavor, sweetie pie flavor, cupy-cake gumdrop snookum-shookim-sfpor apple of the eye flavor! If you want something new, try Shika's Surprise! It's sooooo surprising! Not recommended for children. Has no therapeutic relief. Does NOT raise your IQ to 200."

"**THAT IS THE LAST STRAAAAW!**" Shikamaru roared, suddenly rising up, and angrily ripping of his shirt, revealing a large, muscular torso with matching scars, tattoos and pumping veins. His eyes turned yellow and fangs started to appear—

"Eiw, that's just GROSS…" the Jan—ergh, the cleaning man said, staring at me.

"You dumbass, the fangs appeared in his TEETH, not in his EYES!" I said angrily, painting a 2000 ton anvil on top of him and making it drop on to him. He was squelched, his insides covering the rest of the room except, of course, me (insert evil laugh here).

Anyway, going back to Shika's gory transformation, he was just growing another face in his stomach when the janitor—

Cricket noises. Tumbleweed.

Oh, I forgot, he's dead. Janitor, janitor, JANITOR, **jaaaannniiiittttooor, JAAAAAAAAANNNIIIITTTTOO—**

"Alright, SHUT UP, ALREADY! WE GET IT!" Shikamaru yelled, his evil yellow eyes glaring at me. I 'hmph'-ed and…well, going back.

Shika was just growing another face in his stomach when the janitor's liver hit him on the face. He stared. The janitor had been squelched by some 2000 pound anvil.

'_Hm, where'd THAT come from?_' he thought. He then put his giant alligator claws in the shadows and pulled out a nervous man, who looked freakishly familiar.

"HEY!" Shikamaru said, glaring at him. "Aren't you that idiot who kept interfering?!"

"Uh, no, that was my second-cousin to my third aunt of my sister's brother from my father's second wife which is my great, great aunt's cousin to my uncle's wife's cousin once removed, Rob." He said, fumbling with his microphone and holding a packet of Shika's Surprise.

"Then who the hell are YOU?"

"I'm Todd, Rob's second-cousin to his—"

"ALRIGHT. I get it." Shikamaru said, rubbing his temples. "Damn, how many of your family are there in this fic?"

"Well, I'm not really sure, but this really nice, beautiful, gorgeous, hot, attractive, kind, adorable, cute, brilliant, amazing, intelligent, stunning young woman who's currently typing our conversation and turning your world, my world and our world into a living hell told me there's a lot of my family in this fic, and that we'll continue to disturb, haunt, bring chaos and stupidity into your world until your dying day." He said happily.

"What's her name?" Shikamaru said, narrowing his eyes at me.

"Oh. Her name's—"

A giant comet suddenly swooped down and knocked Todd out of Shikamaru's anaconda-like grip. After that, the giant comet bounced on top of Todd happily until Todd was reduced to nothing.

A small air hole suddenly sounded from somewhere, and Shika's gruesome appearance deflated, leaving his scrawny, ab-less, thin—

"I get it. They get it. We all get it. No need to go into details, y'know…" Shika muttered angrily.

— body. He scratched his head, completely clueless. He sat down, and began to think of what had happened a while ago. BEFORE the complete chaos that followed the janitor.

'_Let's see…_' Shikamaru thought, doing his famous thinking pose once again. '_Uhm… stupid mission was assigned to me and Ino… the janitor and I had a… er… "fight"… Ino and I caught aliens… howled like a baby because of my dear deer… moment thingy with me and Ino… Ino and Konni going for a bath… crash in the bathroom… me going inside… Ino nakeeeeoookay, that's what happened.' _Shikamaru thought, blushing against his own will.

At that moment, he heard the sound of heels clicking on the tiled floor, right behind him. Sweat started to trickle down his forehead. His hands went cold, and his heart started beating triple time—

"With thoughts of loving you ooon my mind…

I can't figure out just whaat to dooo,

When the cause and cure is youuuuu…" a voice started singing in the background. Shikamaru looked around. A guy was wearing a pink, sparkly gown with a halter top and a slit on both sides which reached half his thighs, and he was wearing, yes, you guessed it, a wig that looked very similar to Jojo's hair.

"Holy crap." Shikamaru said, his eyes going 'O.o'

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiii geeeeetttt soooooooooooo wikindanis, I can hardly speak,

I looooose all control and then something takes ooooover mi

In a daze, I feel so a-may-zing

Iiiiiiit's not a phaaase, I want you to staaaayyyy with—"

Suddenly the guy in the gown flipped his fake, Jojo-like hair, making the wig fall and revealing…

"NEJI, IS THAT** YOU?!**" Shikamaru screeched, staring at the black-haired Hyuuga who was standing in front of him, fumbling with his microphone and swaying his hips from side to side.

"AAaahhh... no!" Neji replied in a voice similar to those giant trees in the Lord of the Rings. He cleared his throat. "Erm, I mean, no, this isn't Hyuuga Neji…" he said in the girliest voice he could possibly do.

"Yeah. RIGHT," Shikamaru said sarcastically, going nearer the now sobbing Neji in front of him and gently lifted his face with one hand. Cheesy, romantic music played in the background and flowers of different kinds suddenly popped out everywhere, with flying butterflies to match. "I know it's you…" Shikamaru said softly, gazing into Neji's eyes. Neji blinked pathetically back at Shikamaru, his lips slightly pouting.

"Shikamaru…" he whispered, closing his eyes and moving towards Shikamaru.

"Neji…" Shikamaru whispered back. He leaned closer to Neji's ear, and then…

"WHAT THE **FUCK **ARE YOU DOING, **WEARING HINATA'S PROM DRESS?!**" he screamed, permanently rendering Neji deaf in one ear. Neji looked back at Shikamaru, his eyes sparkling with tears and his face expressing utmost shock and annoyance.

"How DARE you!" Neji replied breathlessly. "For your information this is MY DRESS! **MY PROM DRESS!**"

"Where the HELL did you get it?!"

The lights suddenly turned off, except for a spotlight on Neji, who had his back turned against Shikamaru. Reggae music suddenly started playing and as Neji turned around, he snatched the dress off himself to reveal himself wearing a two-piece lavender bathing suit, and he started to sing:

"I got it from my momma,

I got it from my momma,

I got it from my momma,

I got it, got it, got it, got—

I got it from my momma!"

"WHAT THE FFFF—EATHER!!" Shikamaru said, watching one of his best buds lap dance in front of him. Mokona suddenly appeared on top of Shikamaru's head and 'boing!'-ed happily.

"Didja find the feather?!" it asked him. Shikamaru stared incredulously at Mokona, who was still 'boing!'-ing happily.

"YOU'RE IN THE WRONG ANIME!!" Shikamaru screamed, while he started inching away from Neji who was STILL trying to seduce him. Mokona pouted, and 'boing!'-ed away.

Neji was still singing.

"I got it from my momma,

I got it from my momma,

I got it from my momma,

I got it, got it, got it, got—

I got it from my momma!"

"OH. MY. **GOOOOOODDDDD!!**"

Shikamaru turned around. There was Ino, standing behind him, looking so hot in a purple spaghetti-strapped blouse and white denim skirt, wearing high-heels, and her long, shiny blond hair tied up in a ponytail. The only thing that ruined the whole view was the look of mixed disgust, hurt and shock on her face. Shikamaru opened his mouth to speak, but Ino screamed earlier.

"I KNEW IT!!" she said, stamping her foot angrily on the ground and pointing an accusatory and shaking finger on the two teens in front of her. "OhmyGOD!! THE FOUR OF US WERE RIGHT! THE FOUR OF YOU **ARE** SLEEPING TOGETHER! OHMYGOD!" Ino said hysterically, her whole body shaking.

"ExCUSE ME?!" Neji said, his hand going to his chest for emphasis. "Shikamaru is SOO **NOT** my type! Uh-uh, no way. We ain't feelin' the same thang for him, girlfriend," Neji said, suddenly having a Beyonce-like accent in his voice.

"UGH, whatever, Neji!" Ino said in frustration. She rounded up on Shikamaru, who was trying to string two words together to defend himself, but for some reason, couldn't.

"I-Ino, I… I…"

"You WHAT, Shikamaru?" Ino spat angrily, staring at him with the iciest and most hurt expression Shikamaru had ever seen her give him.

"I… It's not… I mean…" Shika said, gesturing like mad. Ino snorted, shook her head and stormed past him, angrily, towards the door.

Ino was walking out on him.

"Ino, wait!" Shikamaru called, turning around to face her, wanting desperately to run, but, somehow, his feet wouldn't follow. Ino ignored him.

"INO! PLEASE, WAIT!!" he screamed desperately. _'C'mon, you dumb feet!'_ he thought angrily, feeling hot tears prickling behind his eyes. _'Move! Moooove!'_

And finally, he staggered forward, and ran to catch up with Ino, who was already at the door.

"INO, PLEASE!" he screamed, stopping to a halt a few feet away from Ino. "You don't understand!"

Ino stopped, her hand at the door handle, and slowly turned around. Shikamaru was shocked.

Ino was standing there, her eyes glistening, tears running down her made-up face, her cheeks and nose red.

"You're right," she sniffed, her hand tightening on the handle. "I don't."

And without another word, she pulled open the door and ran out of the school, leaving Shikamaru in the dark. Shikamaru sank to the floor, scratching his head.

"This is so troublesome…" he said wretchedly, massaging his temples.

"Ino, calm down…"

"That bastard…" Ino sniffed. "That freaking—ulp—lying bastard…" Ino sniffed, wiping her nose with the tissue Sakura was handing her.

It was a quarter to ten, and they were all cooped up at the Yamanaka Estate, in Ino's large bedroom. Ino was sitting on the bed, her comforters around her, which were hidden under the mounds of crumpled tissue paper scattered all over the room. Sakura was kneeling beside her, holding a box of Kleenex and a bottle of water.

"Never mind that perv," Sakura said, continuing to rub her best-friend's back. Ino gave a hearty sniff. "Besides… you aren't the only one deeply affected, you know."

Ino looked up. Hinata and Ten-ten had turned into serious nutcases. Hinata was sitting on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest and slowly rocking back and forth, mumbling words Ino couldn't understand. Every now and then, she would hear the words, "Neji-nii-san", "Pink dress" and "Momma".

Ten-ten's case, however, was more serious. She had set up a Neji dummy wearing the exact, same pink dress. It looked realistic, actually; it was detailed from the color of his skin to the traditional Bird-in-a-cage seal on his forehead.

However, it now looked like a pincushion, because Ten-ten had pierced it with every weapon she had; which was a lot, actually. There were senbon needles, kunai knives, giant maces, axes, daggers, scissors, butcher knives, bolos, forks, ballpens, pencils, blades, and almost every sharp object which was capable of badly injuring a person. Most of the sharp objects were thrust on the area between the dummy's legs, and on its forehead, right where the seal was. Ten-ten now sat in a corner, her whole body sweating, a devilish aura surrounding her. Her eyes were red, too, but there were no tear stains on her cheeks. Her hair had loosened from her tight buns and her whole body was shaking as she fought for control. Beside her were empty bottles of Gatorade, and twin scrolls. She was breathing hard.

"I'm tho thorry, guyth…" Ino said, her voice nasal. She blew hard on yet, another tissue. "I dithnd mean fur thith to happ'nth."

"It's okay, Ino, you don't need to apologize," Ten-ten said moodily, grabbing another Gatorade bottle from the nearby refrigerator and taking a long gulp. "It's not your fault they're gay." She took another long drought. "Pssh. LAP DANCING." She finished the bottle and threw it to where the other empty bottles were stacked. "Pathetic." She said disgustedly, sitting back down again on the corner. Hinata was still speechless. She did nothing but rock back and forth, and mumble incoherently.

"Thill, I'b tho thorry…" Ino repeated, rubbing her red nose.

"Stop blaming yourself, Ino." Sakura said, starting to clean up all the tissue paper scattered across the large room. "You didn't mean to see it, and you DEFINITELY didn't WANT to." She pulled out the large tub of Häagen Dazs chocolate ice cream from the refrigerator and took the largest spoon she could find. She went back to Ino's bed, sat down, and handed Ino the ice cream and the spoon. "Cheer up, sweetie. There are lots of better men out there. And, they're REAL men."

"Sakura's right," Ten-ten said, sitting down on the edge of the bed, holding her own spoon and taking the first spoonful of ice cream. "You don't need him. WE don't need them. Let them be." She shoved the large mound of ice cream into her mouth. "Buffshards…" she said, her mouth full.

"Besides, why are you so affected?" Sakura asked, licking her spoon and raising an eyebrow at Ino. "Don't tell me you— "

"I DO **NOT** LIKE THAT GAY DEER!" Ino roared angrily, bits of ice cream splattering all over her blouse as she thrust her spoon wretchedly on the tub of ice cream.

"That's settled then. We'll continue with our girls' night out!" Sakura said happily.

"Mmmmph!" Hinata said suddenly, choking on her ice cream. "Where?"

"To the mall, of course. Where else?" Sakura said, gathering up all the crumpled tissue papers scattered all over the room. Ten-ten had produced a large spear and was skewering the crumpled tissue papers on the spear and putting it inside the Neji dummy's mouth. Hinata bit her lip.

"Mmm… I-I don't think that's such a good idea…" Hinata said quietly, staring at her shoes. Sakura looked up.

"Why?"

"Um… I heard… n-Neji-nii-san telling the other guys to meet up with him at the mall this evening…"

Silence. Sakura finished burning the last of the tissue paper in the nearby fireplace and cleared her throat.

"So?"

"Well… I thought that maybe… if Ten-ten and Ino saw them, it might upset them…"

"No. we shouldn't let that little thing upset our night. We're going to the mall whether they're there or not."

"Can we go to the weapons shop first? I'm fresh out." Ten-Ten said nonchalantly, thrusting another crumpled tissue paper ball into the Neji dummy's mouth.

"Already?" Sakura asked. Ten-ten pointed to the Neji dummy now stuffed with extra tissue paper and was burning on a steak. Sakura shook her head. "Oooh…"

"Wait, I'll just take a shower and get dressed."

"Sure, Ino." Sakura said, smiling. "I think I'll do the same."

"Don't drown yourself in the shower." Hinata said knowingly, smiling that ala-Mona Lisa smile again.

"Darn it, Hinata. How'd you know…?" Ino said lamely, a tired smile on her face. Ten-ten laughed.

"It's kinda obvious, actually." Ten-ten said, grinning. Sakura looked at her three best friends, and a thought suddenly popped in her head.

"Hey, why don't we watch a feel-good movie?" she asked.

"What kind of movie?" Ino asked, pulling out her violet, fluffy robe and a towel.

"Anything funny." Sakura said simply. "Then let's go to the barbeque house and eat to our heart's content. How does that sound?"

"Sounds nice." Ten-ten said, smiling.

"After that, let's relax at my dad's spa."

"Alriiiight!" Ten-ten said happily. "Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!"

"I want red wine!" Hinata said happily. "That would go great with the barbequed meat!"

"You're right!" Sakura said happily. "Hey, why don't we just watch a movie at our place?"

"Sure! That sounds better!" Ten-ten said happily. "That way we don't have to see those stupid chick-catchers."

"Right-O." Sakura said, smiling. "But first we'll have to shop for the stuff we'll be eating."

"Whee! Sureness!" Ino said happily. "I want Yellow Cab's New York's Finest!" she licked her lips. "Mmmm… or Manhattan meat lovers with four cheese pizza…"

"Nice one, Ino." Sakura said happily. "We'll decide what we want then. I'll be the one going out."

"No, I'll go out." Ten-ten said. "I need to buy stuff."

"I'll come with you." Hinata said.

"No, **I **will." Ino called from the shower. "I need fresh air."

"Are you sure?" Sakura asked tentatively.

"Yeah, no biggie."

"Okay then…"

"So! Let's get this list started." Sakura said, taking a pen and paper. Ino stepped out of the bathroom.

"I want New York's Finest!"

"That. Was SO HILARIOUS!"

"Thank you, Sasuke. That's VERY helpful."

"But it IS!"

"Thank you, Naruto. You're such a helpful friend. I don't know what I'm going to do without you."

"Oh c'mon, Shikamaru. Don't act like such a—"

"**DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO ME HYUUGA NEJI! THAT WAS NOT A FUNNY JOKE!**"

"Hey, it wasn't my fault, okay?" Neji said, leaning back on his squishy armchair and blowing his bubble pipe. "I didn't know Ino was there. I set it up to scare the shit out of your life."

"The problem is, Neji," Shikamaru said, grabbing a slice of pizza from the Yellow Cab box and biting furiously, "that what your stupid clone did didn't **JUST **SCARE ME. It **made me THROW UP!**" he took another large bite. Neji stopped blowing his bubble pipe.

"I'm sorry, dude."

"And now Ino's going to think I'm some sort of…"

"Gay." Sasuke and Naruto said at the same time, chewing on their New York's finest pizza slices. The two best friends laughed, and Shikamaru groaned, burying his face in a nearby pillow.

"Oh, c'mon Shikamaru. What does it matter to you if Ino thinks you're gay?" Sasuke said, licking his fingers. "Don't tell me—"

"I **DO NOT LIKE** THAT ASSUMING LITTLE BITCH!" he said angrily, pizza bits flying everywhere as he struck a fork into the remaining pizza slices.

"Good. So, who's up for some bowling?" Sasuke asked enthusiastically, standing up from his chair and pumping his fist in the air.

Cricket noises.

"Oh, sure. Wait guys, calm down, I can't control your hyper enthusiasm" Sasuke said monotonously, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever, Sasuke." Naruto said, munching on his pizza slice. "I—hey! There's no more pizza!"

"Then go get some more, dobe."

"I don't wanna! I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I DON'T WANNA!!" he wailed, thrashing about in his squishy armchair.

"Alright, already! I'LL buy some more. Sheesh." Neji said, "Anything else you guys would like?"

"A funny movie. Anything funny." Shikamaru said, his face still in the pillow, waving his hand in the air. Sasuke scoffed.

"You don't need to rent a comedy flick, 'cuz." Sasuke said, smirking. "Put Naruto in a place without food and watch him. It'll be enough."

"Haha, very funneh." Naruto said, taking a huge gulp of soda.

"So, what else do you need, guys?" Neji asked.

"Wait, lemme write it all down." Sasuke smirked. "Knowing Naruto, it'll be a lot."

"You bet!"

"Damn, if I break my back carrying all those stuff—" Neji began, with a warning tone. Naruto scoffed.

"What? You'll glare at me with those purple eyes?" he asked, rolling his eyes.

"They're LAVENDER, damn it!" Neji said angrily. "There's a big difference!"

"Whatever. They're still purple." Naruto said, shrugging. "And, going back, what're you going to do if I DO order a lot?"

"If you order a lot and make me carry too much, I'll hide Hinata away from you forever." Neji said, smirking as he saw Naruto panic and blush for a few moments.

"I—well, what do I care?" he said, turning away. "I don't care…"

"Alright then." Neji said, pulling out his cell phone. "There's this dude named Carl who wants to date her. I'll tell him he's allowed to ask Hinata. Knowing Hinata's kind attitude, she'd allow it."

"But he's a jerk!!" Naruto said, waving his eyes frantically. "He's just going to try and see if he can have sex with her!!"

"So? Hinata's a big girl; she can take care of herself."

"Still!"

"What do you care?" Neji asked, smirking and raising an eyebrow.

"I—well, I…"

"Well?"

"Whatever." Naruto said, turning away. "I don't think I'll order that much."

"Haha. Sure, Naruto."

A pair of sandals walked slowly down the pavement, its heels clicking away. It cast a shadow on the street. Ino stared at her indigo-painted nails and sighed. _What's wrong with me?_ She thought, kicking a nearby can. Everything around her was actually alive and energetic; the cars, the lights, the people rushing by; everything was so full of life! Except her.

It was as if all the life was sucked out from her, and nothing was left. Even when she passed by her favorite boutique, she didn't look up from her sulking. All she could see was the disgusting image of Neji lap-dancing in front of Shikamaru. And she didn't even know WHY she was dwelling on it.

_C'mon, Ino!_ She thought, clenching her fists. _Get it out of your system! Tonight is a night for your best buds! Don't think about that creep…_

"So. What're we going to buy, Ten-Ten?" Ino asked cheerfully, turning around to face Ten-Ten.

"WE'VE BOUGHT EVERYTHING WE NEED!"

"Oh. So we'll go home now?"

"Yeah, sure." Said Ten-Ten's voice. "But first, I need a favor."

"Sure, but where are you?" Ino asked, scratching her head.

"BEHIND ALL THESE PLASTIC BAGS, DAMMIT!"

"Oh. Ooops! Sorry, Ten-Ten!" Ino said, rushing forward to help her best friend. "Are you sure we've got everything?"

"Yep. Here's the list." Ten-Ten said, handing Ino a sheet of paper. Ino pushed it back.

"Read it, then I'll look in the bag."

"DVD's?"

Rustle, rustle.

"Yep."

"Ice cream?"

"Got it!"

"That had better be Häagen Dazs, alright?"

"Yep. Chocolate and strawberry."

"Rightness!" Ten-Ten said cheerfully. "Alright, um… popcorn?"

"Check!"

"Coke?"

"In here!"

"Lots of fries from McDonald's?"

"Oooh yeah."

"…fitted, lace top with flannel sleeves and purple beaded choker??" Ten-Ten asked curiously. "Why is this on the list?"

"Oh." Ino said, making imaginary circles on the pavement with her foot. "That's mine. I'll pay you guys later."

"5 giant scrolls of weapons?"

"It must be this box here." Ino said, kicking one. She heard sounds of metals angrily hitting each other and making a racket inside. Ten-Ten didn't look up.

"Yeah, that's the one."

"Kyuubi bites?!" Ten-Ten asked again. Ino held up an orange box with a chibi Kyuubi on it, which was munching on a bowl of crunchy cookies which were shaped as chibi citizens of Konoha. Ten-Ten and Ino looked at each other.

"Hinata." They both said at the same time.

"Planter's cheez clubs?"

"Ooooh, yeah! It's here!" Ino said excitedly. "Awmaygawd, I'm so happy Sakura put in our favorite! There's four cans here, is that right?"

"Yep." Ten-Ten said, nodding. "How about Cali Ice?"

"Here too."

"Alright, then. Mmm…" Ten-Ten said, musing. "I can't read this… pot… potpurrr… huh?"

"Lemme see that." Ino said, peeking. "Hey. That's potpourri!"

"What's that?"

"It's some dried flowers and leaves stuff that are burnt, and it smells really great." Ino said, smiling.

"Oh. How's it pronounced again?"

"Pupuree."

"Oh. Like… shit-ree?"

"Hahaha. Funneh." Ino said sarcastically, though still with a smile on her face. Ten-Ten whisked an imaginary hat off her head and bowed.

"Thank you, thank you… you're too kind!" she said, bowing at the other sides. Ino laughed heartily.

"Alright! Yellow Cab Pizzas! 2 New York's Finest, one Manhattan Meat Lovers', and one Four Cheese!"

"Whohoo! The last one!" Ino said, rummaging around their packages. "It's all—"

Silence.

"GONE?" Ino said, scratching her head.

"What do you mean, gone?!" Ten-Ten asked hysterically. "Don't tell me we have to lug all this back to Yellow Cab?" she whined, falling to her knees. Ino blinked.

"Hey. I don't recall us going to Yellow Cab in the first place…"

"I—" Ten-Ten looked up. "You're right."

"C'mon."

"Shikamaru."

_That was so stupid of me. I should've seen this coming. I should've. And now…_

"Shikamaru…"

_Hmph. This is so troublesome. Women. Why do they have to be so assuming little… arrrgh!_

"Hey! FAGGOT!"

"WHAT?!"

"Do you mind? WE PASSED YELLOW CAB TWENTY BLOCKS AGO!!" Neji said angrily, throwing a stick (hm, where'd that come from?) at Shikamaru. It hit him on the bump he got from the sink Ino threw a few minutes ago.

"OUCH!" Shikamaru said, rubbing the sore spot while walking with Neji towards Yellow Cab. "That place is still sore!"

"Aww, but it's so cute, I'll hit on it again, watch, watch:" Neji said, smiling. As he walked towards the nearly-empty counter, he hit the lump with the stick.

"STOP HITTING ON IT! I'M STILL SORE!!" Shikamaru yelled angrily.

Dead. Silence.

Tumbleweed. Flying sand.

And theeere goes Shukaku.

"…I'M STILL SORE!"

Ino's eyes widened as she heard the voice. Her pulse quickened, and she felt herself go red. Taking the boxes of pizza in her hands, she slowly turned around. There, in front of her, was Shikamaru, rubbing his head.

Alright, his HEAD head, with the hair?

Okay, WRONG! His head, where his hair is all tied up, forming his pineapple head… erm.

The TOP OF HIS BODY! There we go!

Alright. After that much embarrassing confusion, we go back to the scene. nn

Shikamaru looked up. Ino was staring at him, all red and trembling. Thoughts sinked in. his eyes widened as she saw her look sadly away and start walking past him.

She was walking out on him. Again. Shikamaru couldn't move. For the second time in one day, he was denied his freedom to walk. And it was so infuriating. Why did he have to suddenly lose this ability to walk or move at times when he badly needed to? Especially now, when he had to catch up with Ino, who was slowly moving away, and was STILL assuming he was GAY, which is, of course, a big mistake. He may not be the most MANLY person around, like Gai or Jiraiya, but that doesn't measure his being a man. At all! And he needed to clear that out with Ino.

Finally, with much effort, he was able to, er, stumble towards the door, and finally, out of the street. Exactly why his legs went numb, he had no idea at all. But life's a mystery, and he had no time (or patience) to figure out why.

When he reached the street, Ino was a good five blocks away from him, walking steadily. The streets were dark, and there were only a few sources of light. Everything was cast in shadow.

And that's when it all clicked in. to the both of them, AT the same time.

Ino panicked. _Oh no, SHADOW!_ She thought. Adrenaline rushed through her, and she started to run. She needed a wide, open, LIT space! For sure—

"Kage Mane!" Shikamaru whispered. The shadows around them sped quickly towards their target, which was trying to run off to the brightly lit basketball court. Ino ran, feeling the cool wind on her face and hair. She jumped on top of the cars, went around in circles and narrow paths, trying to shake off the shadow. It was like being chased by a stampede of wild buffalos. Or rampaging deer.

Unfortunately for her, although she was a wild boar herself, she got caught in a bush, her hair getting tangled around the dead branches. She was thinking of cutting it off, when she felt something crawling up her legs. She stared up at the sky, with it's stars twinkling back at her. She opened her mouth, to try to scream for Ten-Ten's help. But as she inhaled air to burst out a scream…

Everything went black.

**Alriiight! Haha. The usual cliff-hanger, of course. And it is now, 12:51 am. Oh my god. And I'm supposed to be working on a paper, but I can't do it properly, so, I decided to do this, instead. God knows I put my heart and soul into it. haha. I was thinking of ending the shikaino here for the meantime, but, well, my head's throbbing and I have to wake up early tomorrow. I mean, later. By the way, it is already March 25, 2008. just a side note. I've actually been doing this for a VERY long time now, due to the reasons stated in the above author's note. But, yeah, it's the summer vacation already, so, there. I've got time now. At least. Haha. :D**

**I WILL start updating now, y'know. I've got some major debts to you guys, and I'm really sorry for the… large gap between my updates. I'll try to lessen them as much as I can.**

**Also, I'm serious about the narutofan thing. The manga thingy? Please pretty please, I do need it. whoever can give me some manga will have a cameo in the story. Haha. It all depends on how much you're willing to give. If you decide to supply me, well then, you'll be a main character in the rest of my Naruto fics. Swear. :D**

**So, that's it for now. I'm all hot and sticky because of the stupid heat (yes, it's still hot even in the evenings), and my head's throbbing like mad.**

**By the way, I would also like for you guys to read Comet Wong's fanfics. She's my super best bud and soulmate and she has inspired me (once again) to write. Haha! Love you, Comet! We actually know each other, and we're trying to make an original story, at . As of now, she's making it, but I will be making one as well, and, well… just wait for it.**

**Again, thanks guys. Sorry, and mucho mucho love.**

**Yours truly, and forever more in craziness galore,**

**Kisara28 **


	12. IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

**Author's Note:**

**Hello people. This has to be the nth note I have written to everyone. Gomen ne. It's just that it's been very very busy, and one would think, "She should've just discontinued the stories she wrote or deleted them—the bitch isn't updating at all! How many years has it been?!"**

**Well, to be frank, my thoughts exactly. But then, I realized, I worked so hard on these stuff, and you guys made an effort to comment and review and ask that I update. So now, I shall continue all these stories. I want to finish, them, too.**

**Hopefully, you'll still want to read them after all this time. I understand that you may have lost interest in them, and that's okay. But if you guys still want to read, then it would very much make me happy. :D**

**Also, just a few more things: I will be, for the nth time, changing my name. Yes, yes, quite annoying, don't you think? But rest assured, it will be for the last time. :D I have had enough with the name changing. Besides, I'm more attached to this name than anything else.**

**So, there we go. I'm back. And hopefully, I'm still welcome.**

**See you guys around~**

** All my love,**

** lCe28**

***The "I" in my new name is actually the letter "L" that isn't capitalized, since there's already another account that goes by the name "Ice28". **


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